Monday, November 27, 2006

The War of MY Worlds - Volume 1


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Well so I spent my 4 days off doing “damage control” around the house, as I usually do when I get a few days off. This is the life you lead when you have 3 children, a full time job, and your 77 year old grandmother living with you. The humanity factors that I deal with are staggering, and most people don’t comprehend the dynamics of it all in the least. I give my grandmother a lot of credit for trying to be the woman of the house but her age seriously interferes with her ability to do so. This is a ten fold issue to that goes beyond her inability to keep up with certain things, it actually involves attitude as well. I have been collecting data on elderly people by watching her and I am not being mean when I say that they are stubborn, and I actually understand it to a point, but ignorance to ones limitations and inability to accept help is not acceptable at any age, I’m sorry.

The problem here lay in the things that she won’t allow other to do. It’s a big pile of pride issues that actually jeopardize the health of everyone in the house. She gets really angry if you try to do the “little things” that she thinks are her job, or she doesn’t think anyone else does right, but the problem in all of that is her growing vision deficiencies. I haven’t eaten off of a clean dish in years, and there are times when you can walk on the floor and see puffs of dust come out of it. I am having trouble keeping up with her abilities as vacuum executioner as well. It tends to be a 100$ a month habit, but she usually has a vacuum cleaner broken within a week of owning it. I can’t hide one, and I can’t get her to stop using it because to even suggest that she is breaking them as fast as I am buying them is a personal assault on her. The dishes issue is the fact that she can’t see that they are still dirty and puts them away as such, and it is getting beyond frustrating. Lazius Boycrazius has been in charge of dishes thanks to her inability to stay out of trouble so it has been slightly better but she suffers from “not giving a shit” which can suffer the masses as well.

So what in turn ends up happening is on the rare occasions that I have a long weekend, I have to spend the whole thing cleaning the house, and I have to put up with the abuse of it being a personal assault on the old woman at the same time. The problem is that if I don’t do it you can’t imagine how dangerous just breathing is in the house. I threw away an entire trash bag of just “dust bunnies” and another one of all the “cleaning” that was done at my expense. This means that when I clean out my areas of the house then she fills it with the things that she can’t bear to part with {another old people habit} and the things that she picks up in her free time when she is out shopping for no reason. You guessed it, but that is another battle that has to be fought every time I have a free weekend because it has to be done so that I can walk around my own living areas. Needless to say, that when we get to this point I have a rather thick skin about it all anyway because I am 100$ poorer from buying the new vacuum {as always} and all of the personal relaxation time that is not afforded to me. The house looks nice though and might even stay that way until next weekend.

There are other factors as well, like a dog that shits on the carpet the whole way, little kids who step in shit outside and track it throughout the house, and the shit that has been accumulated along the way. I hate dogs, I hate kids, and I hate the accumulation of other types of shit, so that wears me down as well. The only rational thing to do in these circumstances is to lock myself in the rooms I am cleaning and endure the dust clouds so you can only imagine how I feel today, but I do have that feeling of satisfaction having done it all that will be with me until tomorrow at least. I was able to get both of the bathrooms too in this whole shmoz, but the hard one was the one upstairs thanks to an old ladies baby powder addiction. I’m sure that I will be coughing all of that up for many weeks to come. Finished off the garage too, and was able to do that while I made the kids do the yard work for being naughty at church. Nothing like making the kids do your work for you when they are bad. In my opinion it is best to have the children make your life easier as punishment for trying to make it more difficult after all. As I am writing this they are still fast asleep. I watched them all pass out exhausted at 7 pm last night which was another good thing, because it gave me that last hour of my 4 day weekend to finally sit down and relax, which was more than I got the last time. I guess I should be grateful ;8o)

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest