Sunday, October 15, 2006

A Day In The Life Of Jeremy Crow - Volume 4

I woke up late again and applied the “what else is new” tag to it, because I simply am dead tired now a days and as my health falls apart I am growing more concerned as the blood tests are till looming to come around any day this week. I did have plans today and I was going to do my best to follow through with them, and this included taking the two little evil’s to church today. Nothing fancy really I just decided that it was time for me to join a local church as the one I used to take the kids to {although perfect for us} is another 40 minutes of driving each way and was basically making it so that I didn’t even bother to go for the last 2 months. The church in the center of town here is Congregational and tends to be more moderate than my usual Southern Baptist but should do in a pinch.

Despite all the pews catching on fire, and the blood running from the walls while every picture of Jesus started crying the second me and my little gang of heathens entered the sacred ground, I would have to call it a success. The minister refrained from pissing me off which tends to be my biggest problem when I go to church, as I like to believe that I know more than every minister other than myself, and the children were moderately terrified of going to hell and remained rather docile throughout the services until they could go to the Sunday School portion. These of course, gives me the hour or so break from dealing with them that I needed to build my own sanity while the minister left his talk about the church Halloween party and started in with the hellfire and brimstone that I was expecting. I do insist that any church I go to celebrate Halloween because all of the “heathen bullshit” speech that some churches go through drives me up the wall, so it was another plus that this church had going for it. We live in an area where Trick Or Treating is actually dangerous because of the lack of sidewalks and street lights, so I do believe that it is up to the community church to lend a hand in keeping the kids of the community safe by throwing a party, and this one sounded pretty good.

After another hour of “Hellfire and Brimstone” the services were completed and it was time for me to go and claim ownership of the two little monsters that I am sure caused a few scary moments downstairs, but was pleasantly surprised that they weren’t that bad. I decided to celebrate this momentous occasion by taking the kids downtown to get some brunch and fresh air. Now of course to do this you have to park the Minivan at the edge of town and walk through it to get to the nice little restaurants on the other side and it’s a pretty cold day, but again I like the little evil ones need some fresh air albeit crisp. The walk wasn’t too eventful, but Captain ADHD did get a whack on the ass when he decided that he wanted to go running around in circles and on and off the curb. This would have been an easier lesson if one of those “pit-bull” morons hadn’t come walking down the street. This one took the cake too because you could see her coming from a half a mile away too. The crowd of people walking down the street parted and you could simply see the left half getting close to the walls of the building as the other half simply made their way into the streets.

This woman had a dog that she could barely control and was without a doubt the biggest tan and white pit-bull I had ever seen. One hand was on the leash and the other hand was clamped to the cell phone that was in her other hand, and she was totally oblivious to the fact that her lunging and furiously barking dog was terrifying absolutely everyone walking down the street. It was more walking her than she it, but it didn’t stop her from just gabbing away on her cell phone and everyone being forced to give her such a wide birth. My own children who usually want to just “pet the doggie” took one look at this vicious freak of nature and wanted no part of it. Had I been alone I wouldn’t have moved out of the way of it in the least, because unfortunately I hate dogs like this and would have loved to be the one to deal with it finally, and that is one of my problems I know. Unfortunately I have not had very good luck with aggressive dogs that really shouldn’t be pets in my life. I’ve been bitten 4 times totally unprovoked and two of those dogs were killed by me {the last two} and three of them were large and nasty tempered pit-bull terriers. I have no tolerance for these things unfortunately, and don’t deal with things that you can’t reason with.

Don’t get me wrong I actually like dogs, I just hate the owners. The average person who owns a large pit-bull isn’t really living on this planet with the rest of us. There are those that own them for what their intended purpose is, and that is attacking people, whether it is a drug dealer, or someone who owns a junk yard or something else that has to be protected from trespassers, but the average person who owns one around here is simply some Yuppie who owns one because they can and it gives them something to talk about being “misunderstood” in some sort of tyrannical need to be a mover and shaker. The fact of the matter is that they are totally understood, and when you open a newspaper and see a “Dog Kills Child” story or a “Dog Goes on Rampage” story it is 9 out of 10 times a pit-bull. It’s a loaded weapon that has no business being owned by someone who simply wants it as a status symbol. I don’t care how “friendly” or “loving” or “obedient” they are. It’s the same thing as shooting at people’s hats from the top of a building with a machine gun. Sure you may not kill anyone some days but it’s still dangerous and inexcusable. As with everything these days it is a “don’t speak” rule that continues to plague intelligent society from the unintelligent society.

After sitting down in the crowded restaurant {thank God we went to early services} we were treated to a nice little lunch/breakfast depending on which of us you were, but the day out was starting to wear on the two little ones as they were starting to become harder and harder to control. I was able to keep the meal rather incident free, but was NOT about to continue this day any longer because it would have been suicide to even attempt it. I promised the kids that if they let me get my writing done when we got home, I would skip football and watch X-Men 3 with them in the theatre downstairs. The big lazy one is popping popcorn in the background and I am finishing up another wonderful example of what crap passes for writing at this very moment and I hope that you all have a wonderful day. I’m the only one in the house that hasn’t seen X-Men 3 yet, so I simply am hoping that the kids let me ;8o)

Have a question you want answered? Feel free to ask this sicko! Post any question you want Jeremy Crow to answer in the comments section of this blog and he will answer it totally honestly and to the best of his ability A.S.A.P. {One Question & One Answer per Blog, and no answers will be given to things that will harm others!}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. JC~

All writings Copyright © 2006 Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest