Thursday, September 28, 2006

Superdaddyman Takes on Lazius Boycrazius - Volume 6

After a grueling day of dealing with the fiendish evil that lurks in the hallways of Pink Mafia Headquarters {PMHQ} it was off to a super secret mission for everyone’s favorite Super Villain turned Super Hero, Superdaddyman, as again he was going to challenge his very sanity in the new TOKE {the Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s} Western Cell! This new hideout of the very cunning, albeit lazy operative known as Lazius Boycrazius at one time would have been considered an impenetrable fortress for any of this gang to hide out as the alter ego of the Superdaddyman {that totally simpering Jeremy Crow} had been eradicated from this location some 20 years ago, and told never to return. Little did she know that as posing as her father gives Jeremy Crow a virtual “Get Out Of Corner Free Card” that can be used at any terrorist headquarters disguised as a high school that she may feel the need to occupy!

This is an extremely hard mission for many reasons to the Caped Pervader, not only because he will be surrounded by little known territory {The School has after all been rebuilt twice in the last 20 years} ~oh God “old” moment~, but the very entrance to the place has been moved to an undisclosed location as well. This doesn’t help when the Superdaddyman is disguised as Jeremy Crow and that total look of “duh” is all over his face as he wanders around the building aimlessly looking for a door. It’s also very dangerous territory when it comes to undertaking the other job of protecting the fair maidens of Megalopolis as the “Once an accident, twice a pervert” rule comes into effect. The best solution to that one is to walk staring at the ground which makes it far harder to find the entrance of course. We mustn’t give away our super secret identity, especially in a TOKE stronghold like this!

Upon finding the entrance to the lair it was now an equally daunting task trying to locate the office of the informant {principal} as the interior of this place was … well … not “School” like. Love seats adorned the walls {that explains why they hand out fists full of condoms to all the students} and the place had an actual brick hallway devoid of the yellow and tan “Prison” colors that a school … um … I mean … Terrorist camp, is supposed to have. Quite frankly the place was quite {oh Gawd} charming. It appeared to be more like a very fancy nursing home, then a high school at all, and it actually kinda turns the stomach of the Superdaddyman. These terrorists live better than I do! School is not about being comfortable and cozy! It’s about being miserable and looking forward to getting past this phase of your life! Superdaddyman will have to discuss this with this informant known as “The Principal” and see if we can not simply “miserable” this place up a bit. How in the name of God is anyone supposed to learn anything in THIS type of environment.

Apparently also it appears that this informant doesn’t realize who he is dealing with here either as he greeted the Superdaddyman at the door with “I’ll be with you in a while I have a meeting to go to,” and he left with the Superdaddyman sitting in his lobby. Come to think of it he must have known who Jeremy Crow was because that is how most people treat him, so we shall assume that that is the reasoning for the absence. It gets really tricky from here though as the Superdaddyman is now forced to sit and inspect the people who came in and out of “The Principal’s” office and again the “Once an accident, twice a pervert” rule becomes enforceable. It must have something to do with the age, as the teacher’s and the student’s age differences are getting so much harder to gauge the difference between. Mind you that we don’t mean the inspected goodies either we mean the Superdaddyman’s age as both the teachers and the students appear to be too young. Hat in hand, on your lap, stare at it and don’t look up. Here’s the new golden rule for the Superdaddyman when investigating evil in this location.

After about a half an hour of sitting there staring at his feet the Superdaddyman here’s the voice of his informant “The Principal” apologizing for the wait, and ushering him into his office for some privacy so that we could discuss the situation with the Capa Di Evils’s that he had come here to discuss. Superdaddyman pulled the white envelope from his jacket to reveal the secret documents that he had in his possession. The first was a signed confession from Lazius Boycrazius, outlining the entire plot to overthrow “The Principal” in “Operation Fake Being Sick Because She Was Actually Suspended” {OFB .. Uh .. S .. Oh Screw It} which was unearthed with no help from any of Superdaddyman’s operatives at TOKE Western Cell. Then the treaty signed by “The Principal’s” assistant thanking the Superdaddyman for speaking with him {oops, he didn’t} and an explanation as to how we will not allow that to happen again. While we are on that subject the Superdaddyman also asked for the “My Daughter Ain’t Getting No Condoms” treaty for him to sign.

“The Principal” was not at all pleased with the evidence that the Superdaddyman presented to him that showed a major coup going on under his nose. He apparently had been in the dark on the whole situation and apologized that it had gone so poorly. He in turn gave over some very top secret documents {the teachers e-mail addresses} in an effort to keep the Superdaddyman content to continue to keep the western portion of Megalopolis safe from such unspeakable evil as Lazius Boycrazius, as we all know it is in his best interest to stay on the Superdaddyman’s good side before he is forced to unleash the fiercest of all Evils’s {the diabolical Captain ADHD} upon his poor disheveled community in about 6 years. The man is very wise beyond his years you see.

Back at the Superdaddycave, our favorite Super Villain turned Super Hero inspected the freshly mowed lawn that Lazius Boycrazius is now mowing weekly in her treaty negotiations, and debated whether or not he would actually make her wash all of the vehicles before she is sentenced back to the garage to try in vain to organize it. You bet your ass he did ;8o)

Have a question you want answered? Feel free to ask this sicko! Post any question you want Jeremy Crow to answer in the comments section of this blog and he will answer it totally honestly and to the best of his ability A.S.A.P. {One Question & One Answer per Blog, and no answers will be given to things that will harm others!}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. JC~

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes ... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Notes - TagWorld Edition {Whenever} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

All writings Copyright © 2006 Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest