Monday, September 25, 2006

Superdaddyman Takes on Captain ADHD - Volume 5

Well as I sit here minus my trusty copy of Microsoft Word because that simpleton Jeremy Crow has broken the Superdaddylaptop, I alone, the Caped Pervader am forced to endure the torment of sitting here using an old laptop and OpenOffice.Org to chronicle the many heroic deeds that I have done today! I can only imagine what Batman would do under these circumstances, but as we all know he is merely a spec on the heroic landscape compared to the Superdaddyman and probably is watching his popularity rating shooting through the roof by the mere mention of his name here today. I come to you of course from a super secret location as unfortunately I have grave news that could effect civilization as we know it. Without inflicting panic upon the citizenry of Megalopolis, I probably don’t need to remind you that your friendly neighborhood Superdaddyman is of course on top of this startling development!

It appears that one of the few ally’s that Superdaddyman has in the effort to stop the diabolical Captain ADHD has finally given in to awe inspiring evil of that little fiend and is calling it quits. His service to the people of Megalopolis until today is duly noted and I would like to send him off to the evil realm just south of here {Massachusetts} with the traditional Superdaddyman send off {crying, and begging to stay} as he should be. We of course are talking about the interrogator of the fiendish Captain ADHD {he called himself Psychiatrist or something like that} who managed to last a full eleven months {a new record by almost ten months} as the interrogator and medication dispenser of the infamous TOKE {the Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s} mastermind. With this startling news the search today has begun for the new interrogator for said prisoner.

Upon procuring the list of suitable replacements for arch villain’s new interrogator, even the Superdaddyman found it to be a bit daunting as he started the interview process. The first one appeared to be too nice, and had a very bad tendency to talk about “happy places” too much for the liking of our 50's style Superhero that finds terms like “happy places” a bit to scary. Talk of terminology that should have been extinct as of January 1, 1970 does not exactly bring the Superdaddyman to a “happy place” because that experiment known as the 60's was indeed a total failure, and he of course is not about to let the interrogator turn Captain ADHD into a total failure. Everyone knows that it is a parent’s {or in this case Super Villain turned Super Hero’s} job to turn their child {or in this case Diabolical Mastermind hellbent on world domination} into a total failure. This type of psychobabble will only lead to things like human rights and hugging that also are unacceptable in a properly maintained benevolent dictatorship that is ruled by tyranny and fear. This guy needed to read the Captain ADHD Owners Manual.

The next one on the list appeared to be younger than the Superdaddyman with legs that started just under her armpits, and the way she wagged her foot with her shoe half off while she was talking to you was a bit of an annoyance. The fear of actually having to look her in the eyes constantly while the mind was wandering off to other locations would have been rather stressful on a bi weekly basis. After throwing in the fact that she would have no doubt been all over Superdaddyman the minute he walked into a room with her would have simply been embarrassing for everyone involved and might not have helped Captain ADHD with his problems. She did appear to have a rather good approach to dealing with the evil monster that seemed to get him to concentrate on what she was saying, which was more than we could say for the Caped Pervader that was having a hard time concentrating on anything other than the waggling foot. By not using any of the terminology that the last one used, she was able to not set off the crap detector, and as an open minded Super Hero we will have to keep this one on the radar {especially if she is hanging out in downtown Megalopolis} just in case the rest of the list doesn’t pan out.

The next one on the list came highly recommended by Greektradgedius Intraining who should know quite a bit about these things, since her oldest child is one meal missed away from being dead, and her youngest just ran away to be a monk down in Peru {and before you start wondering, yes she does happen to be the only person that has never admitted that he needs to just come out of the closet} but since he has never been the personal interrogator of any of these 3 then he will still be taken somewhat seriously. He was much less of a “touchy feely” type but still gave off the vibe of being a “touchy feely” type if you catch my drift. There was a definite air about him which kinda had newscast floating through the Superdaddyman’s head that looked kinda like the old woman with “neighbor” written under her talking to the camera. “He was a quiet boy. Never really talked much, but was always really good to his mother,” and that vision would not leave my head the whole time I was looking at his creepy little eyes. Needless to say he did appear to be the type of person that would align himself with Greektradgedius Intraining, and if anything proved a point to the Superdaddyman about her judgement, as usual.

The last one isn’t exactly a new one to our favorite super hero. She happened to be the interrogator of EX3, so the surroundings and the person in general were quite familiar. She was the one that she was seeing during the great depression that led to the breakup of the Unholy Union between the Superdaddyman and EX3 that of course led to many a wonderful tale of “Things You Learn From Your Ex Wife’s Girlfriend” which the Superdaddyman of course being a just Super Hero will not hold against her. It’s merely a coincidence that she was interrogating a miserable housewife that happened to become a lesbian in the end. To be fair to her she could actually be called an ally already to the Superdaddyman, if anything she did actually caused the wonderful breakthrough that not only got her to come out of the proverbial “closet” but also forced the series of events that led to her girlfriend that has been a rather good friend as well. Of course we can’t be as bold as to say that either because apparently the Superdaddyman was the only person to not realize she was a lesbian from the moment he met as well. The good news was that she was not taking on any more clients at the moment anyway.

So tomorrow our brave young Super Hero will have 3 more special interrogators to meet with before he must make his final decision as to whom will have to become his ally in the war against the Evils’s. As we all know, the fate of Megalopolis hangs in the balance here, so there are many factors that should be taken into account. First and foremost, we must be concerned with who will interrogate the prisoner properly, no matter what kind of evil mind tricks he will use to try to hold fast against any sort of “unorthodox” methods that of course must be employed. Second, we must take into account whom the diabolical leader of the most heinous terrorist organization know to the great city of Megalopolis, will feel some sort of bond with, so that the proper information is extracted. Third and probably the most important as it will have the most ramifications if the Superdaddyman doesn’t take his job seriously of transporting the prisoner to and from the scheduled interrogation appointments, it has to be one that the Superdaddyman feels comfortable going to see every other week. Ok I know that you all think you know which one that one is already, but perhaps you should have more faith in your favorite Super Hero! Besides, you never know, but maybe one of the special interrogators tomorrow will wear a shorter skirt to go with the legs ;8o)

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. JC~

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