Saturday, September 2, 2006

Livin' With Evils's - Volume 20

So here we are again in the booming city of Megalopolis, as everyone's favorite Super Villain turned Super Hero, Superdaddyman is about to, yet again, defend the many innocent people from The Terrorist Organization Known As The Evils's {TOKE} at day one of the Labor day weekend. This will be an unusually perplexing battle between the forces of good and the overwhelming chaos that the Evils's can unleash at any moment. The battle shall take place on enemy ground in a place called Chuck E Cheeses that will bring forth a whole new set of near impossible circumstances for the Caped Pervader, but as we know, if anyone can overcome such amazing odds it is of course the Superdaddyman!

In any good terrorist plot there will be the many facets set up to spoil the abilities and weaken the super powers of Superdaddyman and this one will have all known forms of Superdaddy Kryptonite to make the day all that much more loathsome. Let us first list out the cast of primary villains so that you all can have a broader perspective of what diabolical odds the Superdaddyman is faced with from the get go before we even start to get into the unknowns that will crop up along the way. First and foremost we have the two mega terrorists that will be on 100% adrenaline as they feel that they can get away with more as it is thier birthday party. These two would be the fiendish Imtoocutus {aka .. Little Evil} who will be using her uncanny powers of "Look at how adorable I am" to try to con unsuspecting dupes into committing her acts of atrocity for her, followed by the "Muscle" of TOKE, and that would be the diabolical Captain ADHD {aka .. Ididn'tdoitus} who will be using his supersonic speed and unwavering lack of impulse control to create mass havoc throughout the day. Then you have the usual cast of Super Villains .. Lazius Boycrazius {aka .. Big Evil} who will be behind the scenes the entire time making sure that whatever particular item the other two want to have in thier possession gets confiscated so that they will be forced to use thier powers of "Pissed off and Screaming" to keep the Superdaddyman at wits end. Greektradgedius Inyiddish {aka .. Mophaka Al Queholic} will be lurking about to make sure that any free time that the Superdaddyman perhaps could have to smoke a butt {aka .. Don'tkillthemsticks} or actually eat something will be filled with useless time wasted chasing terrorists around because they are "Making too much noise and giving me a headache" {aka .. Bitch Bitch Bitch}

Then we have the diabolical imports that aren't always there to make matters worse but on this great occasion will be at the very location formulating plots to seperate the Superdaddyman from his money as they always do. Greektradgedius Intraining {aka .. Is your fucking car fixed yet so I can have my Minivan back?} her boyfriend {aka .. Will you fix her fucking car already so I can have my Minivan back?}, The Mother of All The Evils's {aka .. The Whore}, her boyfriend {no codename specified, he'll only be around another week at most}, her sister {again too stupid to get a cool code name}, her boyfriend {aka .. I'mwithstupid}, thier 5 kids {aka .. The Lice Bringers}, EX3 {aka .. The Lesbian}, her nephew {aka .. Brutus ... The kid is 3 and weighs 60 pounds ... WOW}, and last but not least all of thier willing accomplices in TOKE that they have imported from The Evils's Northern Outpost {aka .. School}. at 14$ a head, I am amazed that the entire entourage of The Mother of All The Evils's doesn't show up unannounced {what the fuck, none of them are ever going to pay for anything if they can avoid it, the world owes all 700 of them, talking to any of them demonstrates that fact} but of course we still haven't gotten to the worst of the worst of all of the major disturbances that will be set in motion to try to beguile the poor Caped Pervader as he tries to keep control of the greatest evil this world will ever see .. Yummy Mummies!!

Yes boys and girls the worst of all of this will be the many Yummy Mummies that will be crawling around on thier hands and knees {all with thier shoes off mind you because it is a rule in Chuck E Cheeses ... that evil evil RAT!} most of them in thier early twenties and not yet in full mental capacities that crawling around in tight miniskirts in public is NOT a good idea! How do you expect the greatest Super Hero and defender of not only the Evils's but anything walking around in a miniskirt with a hot set of legs to deal with all of these attention grabbers at the same time? Nobody truly understands the insurmountable obstacles that the poor Caped Pervader has got to conquer on a daily basis! Amplified 10 times mind you by two ex wives that still hit on the poor Superdaddyman at every opportunity {despite the fact that one will actually taste like two or three other men on a good day, and the other would insist on bringing her girlfriend} who will in one breath remind the Superdaddyman that he is a fucking pervert and in the other breath try to exploit his mentally weakened state. Heaven forbid that it is like the last time everyone's favorite super hero was there and a few ex girlfriends desperate to find the new daddy for thier last few boyfriends children are there as well!

So we say goodbye to our fearless {and often brainless} super hero as he armors himself up with his Superdaddybelt {tissues, tokens, MasterCard ~for when the "other" family shows up expecting food~, ibuprofen, extra cigarettes, Valium ~for GTIY~, balloons ~for making balloon animals, when the kids realize that Chuck E is only there for 5 minutes~, assorted death metal CDs ~Operation Shut The Fuck Up on the drive home~, camera ~for taking pictures of the really hot Yumm ... I mean ... um ... Kid pictures ... yeah Kid Pictures!~} and starts the long process of getting the Focus ready to jam 6 people in it {did I mention that GTIT has my fucking Minivan still?} for yet another fabulous day of fending off evil in a hostile environment. Pray for the best ;8o)

Have a question you want answered? Feel free to ask this sicko! Post any question you want Jeremy Crow to answer in the comments section of this blog and he will answer it totally honestly and to the best of his ability A.S.A.P. {One Question & One Answer per Blog, and no answers will be given to things that will harm others!}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. JC~

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