Friday, March 3, 2006

Mental Notes - MySpace Edition - Privacy 101

Well the whole "Privacy" issue that is being argued about MySpace has taken on a new meaning this week as it appears that some school kids have taken to the radio air waves to complain about thier teachers going online and checking out thier MySpace pages. These are High School aged kids who seem to think that thier pages should be off-limits magically to certain people based on thier criterion, as they see it. I can only imagine the little check boxes that you could place into your MySpace preferences if these idiots had thier way {aside from the fact that it is impossible} and MySpace took them seriously.

1. Check here for NO teachers {MySpace will have to change your default age back to your real one if you do this though, despite how the Harry Potter theme kinda gave it away}

2. Check here for NO parents {you are now free to be "Down with The Clown"}

3. Check here for NO ex girlfriend/boyfriend {MySpace of course can not be held responsible for any Lorena Bobbit moments that incur from this feature, as it is in Beta!}

4. Check here for NO wife/husband {you are now free to start adding your "real" friends to MySpace}

5. Check here for NO boss/coworkers {you should have done this BEFORE you told the internet that you fucked Margie from Accounting though}

That list could end up looking like one of those "Click Here to Get a Free FILL IN THE BLANK" ad {yanno where you have to fill out 75 offer sheets and spend hundreds of dollars, and never actually get your stupid Nintendo ES or whatever the hell they are peddling} that you see on the internet these days. Of course you think this whining is bad about teachers seeing kids MySpace pages, imagine the frivolous lawsuits that will come up sooner or later when people start losing wives, jobs, or school opportunities because of shit THEY put on MySpace, but of course that never stopped anyone from suing over it. Back in the old days people used to be ashamed of things, but Oprah has at least taught us {in Johnny Cochrane format} "that which used to bring shame can now bring big profit through blame!"

To be totally honest with you though I would freaking die to be a fly on the wall during one of these conversations that a teacher is having with one of these students, whose MySpace page they had just explored the night before. It's got to be the most hillarious case of "busted" since you accidentally had to stand up in front of that teacher that kinda gave you a little bit of a "stiffy pickle" but at the same time so well deserved to a lot of them if their pages that I have seen are any indication of what little homework they are actually doing. Picture this scenario …

Dirty Eddie walks into the classroom to proclaim to his teacher Mrs. Crabtree that he didn't have time to do his homework, which is met by a wicked little smirk, as Mrs. Crabtree says, "Well Dirty Eddie, as I had been looking at your MySpace page last night I realized how busy you really were as you wrote such a wonderful blog about being 'Down With The Clown' and how terribly 'Itchy You Is to Get Up In Dat Hermione Granger' and then realized that THAT was probably what you were working on when you were pretending to take notes in class," Mrs. Crabtree would take a moment to pause to allow Dirty Eddie to fumble incoherently over a few excuses, then would add, "I imagine that it might have been while you were going around to 76 different places to share your brilliance about how your 'Dick is bigger than Draco Malfoy's' and more crap about being 'Down With The Clown' on thier blogs, or perhaps it was the 48 times that you left a picture of a woman's boobs in other people's comments?" as he yammers out more little excuses and the sweat pours down his face now she then finishes with, "and you better stop telling people that those are MY BOOBS and that you took them after you $@*%ed me OK?" Then she can maybe write a big red "F" right on his forehead for good measure, as he probably won't have classroom wood for a while now anyway.

Fact is that I think this is a great idea, why not? I realize that sooner or later we will start having lawsuits over who is allowed to hold things that were printed on websites against each other, regardless of whether we should acknowledge that YOU FUCKING PUT IT THERE for EVERYONE to see! Don't get me wrong on that one, it's a well known fact that I publish THE MOST humiliating shit about myself and the people around me, but also understand that I will deal with the consequences of these things {if any because along with that comes the premise that I don't give a shit"} and won't then escalate the stupidity of being found out, by finding the first microphone or camera that will broadcast my stupidity to a larger audience. Actually I can't say that because I might if it is going to get me something, like books sold or a sympathy lay or something. I won't be using it to financially embellish my bank account, through a lawsuit or to talk about how life is unfair. I especially will NEVER assume that only the people I want to read my stuff will either. We are all way to fucking nosey for that, and we also live in a Bart Simpson society where the loudest kid doing the most outrageous shit IS going to be watched ... DUH! ;8o)

Have a question you want answered? Feel free to ask this sicko! Post any question you want Jeremy Crow to answer in the comments section of this blog and he will answer it totally honestly and to the best of his ability A.S.A.P. {One Question & One Answer per Blog, and no answers will be given to things that will harm others!}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. JC~

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes ...
Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog}
Mental Notes - MySpace Edition {Weekends}
Mental Notes - Yahell 369 Edition {Weekends}
The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

All writings Copyright © 2006 & Beyond
Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest