Monday, February 13, 2006

Things You Learn With A Bad Back - Volume 9

So I have taken a new stance on writing today as I have brought my laptop into work to get my writing done from the closet that I am supposed to be storing cleaning supplies but have secretly set up the Superdaddylab of Pink Mafia Chaos {SPMC} in instead! With this new secret location it is possible for everyone’s favorite super hero to spend more time writing about the things that matter {like porn} instead of cleaning up after the people that don't! Just because they pay him to clean toilets doesn't mean they own him, it just means that they are in control of a certain level of his pride. This too shall pass!

Today is actually a rather special day for the Superdaddyman as it is one of those days that he is forced to go to the physical therapist {Operation Pleasure & Pain} so it is even more important that our mild mannered crime fighter spend even less time working on a matter of principal. The whole ordeal of trying to fix his back since it was ruined in a freak "lifting experiment" has done no real wonders for Superdaddyman's spirits to say the least and in it's own way has create the very essence of the whole whicked scheme to take down the Pink Mafia! Days like today simply reinforce Superdaddyman's belief system and value structure.

It might even be tolerable if it weren't all at the behest of an insurance company that Superdaddyman is forced to go through the things he does. After the insurance company forced the issue with the doctors about the over all health of Superdaddyman's back, an evaluation had to be performed to rate the "permanent condition" that he will live under. This of course was precipitated by thier hopes that somehow the doctor {a totally flagrant Quack, which is why the insurance company made Superdaddyman go to him} would simply proclaim the issue "cured" and then the insurance company could simply consider Superdaddyman to be completely awash from thier care. This was the only time that the doctor being a total Quack came in handy as he didn't have the balls to label Superdaddyman as anything and sent him to an "evaluation team" that in turn labeled him 70% after all of thier tests. The insurance company had thier "permanent condition" and now Superdaddyman was registered with the state to be disabled, keeping him from acquiring a better job as he is now a liability.

Now comes the fun part, as Superdaddyman had finally said to himself "Fine, those fucking assholes want me to be disabled then fuck em, I'll live out my pathetic existence as a janitor!" which unfortunately is not part of what the insurance company had in mind. Since they didn't get the answer they wanted they will keep trying until they do! To do this you have to continue giving inferior {cheap} care and hoping to break the back of the human being {in this case Superdaddyman} that you need to get off your books. They assigned a nurse to be Superdaddyman's "observer" but do you think it is a good nurse? Fuck NO! It is a cheap nurse who would be earning a living elsewhere if she was anything less than dangerous medically. Worse yet, she so obviously doesn't listen to a word anyone says, and is 100% incapable of doing anything but harm because of it.

This woman has figured out the two things that are going to get Superdaddyman pissed off out of his mind and sooner or later do the type of thing that normal people would regret, by monopolizing the two things he has none of ... time and information. Her inability to tell the same thing to any two people, from information that she received and was totally different to begin with is astounding. She has told my employer that I will be 100% in a few weeks {which you NEVER will be according to the doctor with a ruptured disk} and she has told the insurance company that I have been resisting the recommended treatments, which my physical therapist says quite the opposite! I have finally resorted to treating her with the total lack of respect that she deserves, and the self righteous side of me is ok with that 100%.

When she called the Superdaddycave last Friday the response from the minute she said her name was this, and I quote "I don't have time to talk to an ineffectual human being disguised as a nurse who is doing nothing more than stealing moments of my life that I will never get a refund on!" and then a momentary silence followed until she started back on her spiel about some insurance company issued agenda. At the end of her lecture I responded with, "And why should I listen to anything you have to say because you don't listen to anything I say?"

"Because if you don't then the insurance company will drop your claim," she said back to me over the phone, and she finally did something that she probably didn't even realize she did, and more over woke up a raging monster inside of the Superdaddyman that hasn't been seen in almost 17 years, and out came a very loud, very mean, very rage induced tirade that I am going to edit because writing 48 swears and 20 other words is counter productive.

"So all this time you have been pretending to be an ignorant shit head?" was basically the point that could be made from all of the tirade, and when she feigned stupidity again, I added {also with a lot of swears} "You are an accomplice to any lawsuit that I may file against my company and the insurance company in the state of New Hampshire and any levee's that are placed upon those two I will make sure are also placed upon you, do you have any other smart ass idea's for me or can I at least get my time back that you totally waste with your fucking phone calls?" to which she hung up, which suits me fine.

So now as Superdaddyman is standing in the company supply closet at work writing this, the new attitude is "Try Me, I'm there" and of course the new attitude he has when he goes over to Yahell and plays on thier 369 system of "Don't fuck with me, I fuck back!" I never thought that a right wing whacko would say something like this, but if you ever get hurt at work for something that isn't minor, refuse thier treatment options because they are doing what is cheapest not what is best. Go to the emergency room, which is where people are supposed to go when they get hurt. Don’t go to the “Sports Medicine” facility, and for the love of GOD don’t go back to work and wait for an appointment later! You may think that you are doing the right thing being a company oriented person, but what you are actually doing, and I would hate for you to have to find out the hard way like me, is being a company stooge. If they tell you they aren't going to cover you, get a lawyer first thing afterwards, don't ruin the rest of your healthy days like the Superdaddyman did ... As always this has been a public service announcement from the Superdaddyman! ;8o)

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! ..

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Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest