Sunday, February 26, 2006

Superdaddyman Takes on Jeremy Crow - Volume 1

Today could have been one of those wonderful days off for our valiant crime fighter that we have all come to know as Superdaddyman! The Evils’s were safely transported to the secret facility that houses them during their vacations for good behavior, and the great city of Megalopolis indeed was ready to be the oyster of Superdaddyman, as it was the perfect setting for him to drive around in the Superdaddymobile and protect the fair maidens {especially the ones in the short Saturday night “do-me” skirts} had it not been for a rather major crisis to hit the entire East Coast of this great nation! Superdaddyman of course was prepared for such evil plans that were probably cast upon this land from probably none other than that evil GW himself! Operation “Fucking Snow Storm” {FSS} hit Megalopolis like a charging Rhinoceros, and Superdaddyman used that opportunity to institute his own plans known as “Operation Clean up the Computer” {OCC} which would involve many different levels of stability measures, that Superdaddyman could totally screw up individually!

First our brave young {*damn lightning strait out of the monitor now} super villain turned crime fighter found it necessary to finally pull out all of the top secret encrypted messages from his pile of documents on his hard drive {pornographic pictures that have been sent to him in e-mail} so that they can be researched {use your own imagination on that one} and then stored away for later use. This took up quite the bulk of the day as it became apparent to Superdaddyman that a computer doesn’t work so good when you have directories with over 10,000 pictures in each … um … well …. Ah some of it wasn’t porn … honest! So he needed to open up his wonderful decoding device {Piccassa} to try to organize the directories of files! Classifying them into easy to understand directories {black & white … with stockings no sex … with stockings sex … without stockings … etc etc etc} for the later times when the world depends on Superdaddyman and his data collecting abilities! After about 3 hours of this it became apparent to Superdaddyman that he needs better leisure time hobbies than plowing through e-mail looking for smut in his e-mail groups, so it has been put on the to do list … 1. Find Reality.Sys for later use, and implementation.

Upon finishing the daunting task of organizing such important documents it was on to using the 6 or 7% of the files that are G rated for the photo albums on his website. It’s important for lovable crime fighters to keep with the people in Megalopolis and not appear too aloof! If there’s one thing that Superdaddyman can’t stand is someone who get’s so self important that they talk about themselves in the third person or something like that. Remember boys & girls, Superdaddyman is always courteous {*big toothy smile} so after getting all of the new photo galleries organized for the site, it was the awe inspiring need to make the Superdaddyblog into the very mold of the rest of his alter ego Jeremy Crow’s website! “This should be a piece of cake” laughed the Superdaddyman, “for all I have to do is take the same CSS template that I have been using to make that Dumbass Jeremy Crow look good! How hard can it be?” and with that Superdaddyman was off to change the entire face of Superdaddyman lore forever!

Well actually what Superdaddyman did was completely wipe out the 259 blog entries that were in the database, reinitialize them and finally recover them. It was a mere 2 hours of “easy” work, and by 10 pm Superdaddyman was finally ready to repost all of the pages that he had destroyed and then rebuilt by hand and go to bed. Of course it’s never that easy being a super hero is it boys and girls. Needless to say at 12 am when Superdaddyman finally went to bed the only thing that went through his mind was to mimic himself like a little 6 year old the whole way to the bedroom. “This is going to be so cool .. you dummy!” and other wonderful little adages like “What could go wrong ... well you could be involved for starters?” passed his lips until he finally fell asleep.

Of course Superdaddyman is kinda lucky that he knows what an idiot he can be, especially when he thinks he is being brilliant! {I had to check the page before I could simply walk away from the computer and it was a damn good thing I did} If Superdaddyman hadn’t been so keen in his abilities to double check you all would have seen Cyrillic fonts and all in a jumbled heap. For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why characters like this “Œ æ ƒ µ € £” were totally covering the page until , Superdaddyman realized that it was all representative of European money, which finally led him to see what was wrong with that “simple as shit” Adsense code that that moron Jeremy Crow had been bragging about! Superdaddyman of course finally fixed that problem after about an hour and a half, and YES it was totally something stupid that Jeremy did, as he hadn’t put an <- end -> on the script that fed the ads, because he was smart enough to put it in there himself now instead of having Google do it for him. He’s very lucky to have Superdaddyman looking after him as well! I wonder if Clark Kent cost Superman his beauty sleep in such a fashion!

Next came the unfortunate belief that Superdaddyman could code a page better then one of the Blogger hacks which put all of the posts into a big lump {all of the text right on top of itself so it looked like blobs} and that took him the other half hour to figure out that he had to manually set the text spacing because it was RSS feeds after all. It’s a good thing that Superdaddyman has Jeremy to blame for this as well! If it sounds like Chinese to you then GOOD, maybe you won’t play with it, and let the nice little Blogger templates take care of these things for you like our definitely TOO fearless hero should have. See what happens when the Evils’s go away for the night and Superdaddyman is left to his own devices, and snow bound! Of course I should warn you all that two of the Evils’s have been kidnapped for the next week as their other headquarters {codenamed School} is closed for the week, which means that something worse than Superdaddyman being alone is going to happen this week! He is going to be trapped alone with the fiendishly evil Imtoocutus, with no other Evils’s trying to wrestle control of the Palace De Evils’s …. Heaven help Megalopolis … Heaven help us all!

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest