Thursday, February 16, 2006

Musical Methadone & Mental Masturbation - Volume 10

I had come across some glorious accidents in my day, and although many have been an absolute nightmare of my own stupidity there are those times when doing the "dumb thing" pays off. I think there has only been 3 times I forgot to send back that stupid card from the BMG Music Club {oh shut up, most of you belong to some sort of thing like this too!} and every time the glorious accident proved a good thing, well kinda actually. The CD by a band called Coheed & Cambria showed up and I looked at it for a few minutes and then said, "Geeze, this looks frickin gay!" but due to the fact that I am too lazy to ever send them back in I simply opened it up, and now "You could’ve been all I wanted … but you weren’t honest … now get in the ground … You choked off the surest of favors … but if you really loved me … you would have endured my world! ... Well you're just as I presumed ... a whore in sheeps's clothing ... fucking up all I do ... and it's here we stop ... then never again ... will you see this in your life!" is still stuck in my head from the first moment I heard it. It relates rather heavily to me anyway, but it can get annoying as any song trapped in the brain though. The most amusing part of the whole Musical Methadone aspect is that the very first CD that I ever got because I forgot to send in the card "Operation Mindcrime" by Queensryche actually holds the song "Eyes of a Stranger" that will get the other song out of my head. Simple backpedaling from there {Eyes of a Stranger ... Man in the Box ... Mr. Crowley ... Touch of Evil} will free the space in your mind again to analyze other things.

This is a sticky subject for me as my mind races like nothing any of you have ever seen before. As I write this {from the strategic headquarters of Superdaddyman behind the enemy lines of PMHQ} my mind is working on 7 different things all at the same time. Not in any particular order I am working on figuring out the meaning of the new round of e-mails about my blogs, writing this blog, new ways to redesign my blog, how I am going to lead the second chapter into the third chapter of book number two, how to get out of the second chapter rut of book number one, how to repackage my screenplays so that perhaps they will be reconsidered by the three companies that at least showed interest, writing porn, creating a new stationary, looking up 360 profiles for my blog there Saturday, trying to come up with something for my blog on MySpace Saturday, and perhaps cleaning a toilet or two. Slowing all of this into a crawl so that I can format it all into a blog entry is pretty damn hard, so as most of you have probably noticed I stopped trying.

In order, I have been getting the double edged sword of my desire to get people to reread {or actually I should say read in the first place} some of my older stuff. I have been redesigning my old pages and adding cool art work that I steal from my e-mail groups, and here and there adding comments to my entries to describe in a little detail what was going on behind the scenes of things. E-mails have been coming in questioning my sanity, as {the good news} people are going back to read my old stuff but, {the bad news} can't understand as they read all of the commentless blog entries that prattle on about stalkers and tons of readers and various other things why I talked about any of it as if I were popular. I should have seen this coming and even made a mental not of it as I was rereading everything during the redesign.

It kinda makes me laugh really as a few interesting things came to light recently in my new 360 verse that explain better some things in my old 360 verse. Not the least of which being that despite how long I have been away and how "removed from it" I truly am, I totally made 360 what it is, not alone, but I played a bigger hand than most whether I tried to or not. I realize that saying this out loud might make me look egotistical, but facts are facts. This got me curious, as I traced back the e-mail addresses of some of my new readers. Why you may ask? ... Because I am paranoid of course, and I learned it from the shallow hell I am playing around in at the moment called 360!

I have a very good friend online that said to me that she gauges someone’s honesty by how they pretend or don't pretend to know who I am. She had said that anyone who couldn't believe that they had never seen me on 360 is usually quite full of shit in some manner or another. All ego aside, I was quite entrenched in everything. Many people read me, and having a comment on my page was the absolute gateway for all of the pathetically "beige" people that invade 360 today. I took a stroll around 360 coincidentally a few days ago to see how everyone was doing, and was quite shocked at the results of what I saw. Some of the people that I merely tolerated as they seemed nice enough albeit really really boring have totally packed thier friends lists to well over two hundred and while still writing the most torturously boring shit are the new "rock stars" of 360. The only thing that floated through my mind aside from "Oh God please kill me if I ever write this bad!" was that most of the stuff I am reading is actually stolen from other people, and I don't think anyone here actually reads what anyone writes at all! I never thought that idiot sanctuary could get any more insipid.

I know this is a little off track from the e-mail thing, but I had come up with a new way of figuring out who is who through e-mail addresses you see. If you go over to MySpace, and input an e-mail address it will give you the details of which that e-mail address belongs to. Knowing this you can then go over to 360 with the assorted details and VIOLA! You now can search out who that person actually is in 360. I was now able to see that a few of the e-mails questioning my sanity were from people who knew damn well who I was and what I was talking about.

When you add in the factor that so many of the people that had interesting thought, original humor, or more over an actual charisma like myself have left the 360 verse {for the most part} thus ending the cycle of drama that was actually worth watching as apposed to the sickening vanilla drama I see all over it now that was more aptly taken from the TV and reworded, I actually think it had more to do with seeing if they could set me off, and watch the cloud of fire all over again. I had become such a waste of typing skills by the end of it when I unceremoniously was removed from Yahell after I had removed myself from Yahell {yeah I know that sounds blonde} that I must have been a better show than even I thought. All of the chaos and drama that despite the beliefs to the contrary were very much loved by the people who watched it the first time isn't starting over a few e-mails a second time.

Starting a 360 page to begin with back on July 15 2005 was an accident to begin with; my first blog on that day was as well. Becoming very popular for whatever reason I had was still more accident than actual attainability through my own skills, but unfortunately all other accidents after that were simply reactions to things that weren't accidents in the least. The fact that I have grown from all of that isn't an accident, because it took an awful lot of hard work that I am NOT throwing away for a bunch of accidents waiting to happen ;8o) {Course That Doesn't Mean I won't Still Have Some Fun At Other People's Expenses Over There Either, Because I am FUCKING OWED!}

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes ...
Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog}
Mental Notes - MySpace Edition {Weekends}
Mental Notes - Yahell 369 Edition {Weekends}
Subscribe to Mental Notes - MySpace Edition
Join The Blogaholics MySpace Blog Ring
Join Blogaholics Anonymous {on MSN}
The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2006 & Beyond
Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest