Sunday, February 19, 2006

A Day in the Life of Jeremy Crow - Volume 2

So today was dedicated to making the PC’s that were all built last week work. The most important of which is the one that belongs to the diabolical clone of the Superdaddyman, the dreaded Captain ADHD. This was a rather large production actually since he had indeed killed the laptop that the fair Polly Pureheart had handed over to Superdaddyman in a peace negotiation, he had been the one family member without access to his evil database {aka KOL … or Kids AOL} and it was becoming a chore for the other two to deal with his maniacal powers of BEEOING!

In the interest of making what should have been pretty simple a much larger production and incredibly frustrating {like Superdaddyman subconsciously must love it after all} it was decided that a brand new desk should be part of the whole grand affair! For you ladies out there who are already laughing over the concept of a man, a screwdriver, some wood, a hammer, a set of instructions in Chinese, and a 5 year old girl providing all of the John Madden like commentary on everything that just happened, well then you are in luck! It was pretty much stereotypical from that point forward. The only thing that was rather unusual was that Superdaddyman pretty much got it all done in the allotted amount of time and there appears to be no injuries.

It is important to note that it is a LOT harder to do anything with a babbling Imtoocutus standing there giving the blow by blow, “You just hammered that, look he’s screwing in a bolt, you’re using nails, do you like using nails?” You simply must look at the little darling and only imagine strangling her, because it is still illegal in most states. Having a totally spastic and under adderolled Captain ADHD doing cartwheels all around you as you try to operate a large hammer on very small nails is a task unto itself. He still found time to nag about it all because he has been so lost without his computer after all.

Now comes the daunting task of setting up the configurations so that Superdaddyman can play with all of the really fun stuff on the computer and Captain ADHD can spend the rest of the time finding ways to get at the really fun stuff and still break the computer. That is after all how the struggle between good and evil goes after all. It’s also important to secure Middle Evil’s computer because as was the case with his laptop, Big Evil will try to commandeer the thing the second she brakes her own and then will break this one in the process. Little evil still wants one of these Pentium bad boys, but she should be happy that not one of these kids has ever been able to break her 8 year old Macintosh no matter how hard they have tried, even if the thing is very quickly becoming extinct.

I miss the old days somewhat. I started with a Commodore Vic 20, moved up to the Atari 800, and landed in the cockpit of a Commodore 64 for a few years. Somewhere in there I had a Coleco Atom, believe it or not, but aside from being a decent word processor it was pathetic at best but played Donkey Kong very well. It was my desperate belief that I would never outgrow my Amiga 3000 that brought me to my knees when I bought my first 486 {made by Compudyne I think} and I still find it amusing that 9 years later I still see Windows computers catching up to a few of the things that that Amiga had. Until Darius gave up the Mac for that laptop Sabrina was still using the Commodore 64 that is now in the garage, and can still get on the internet!

Well after several hours of toiling over this new {from parts} Pentium 3 scream machine {compared to the Pentium 2 laptop trust me ask Polly!} Superdaddyman is ready to do the final test … pressing the button that gives it power! Yes the raw unyielding power that Captain ADHD so desires … um … wait … why won’t it start now??? Oh shit! Ooops … I mean SHUCKS!! What could be wrong now! Superdaddyman furiously inspects the computer that was working before the configuration reboot! Wires are all set, the cords are plugged in, no juice, what the … um … FUDGE!! Ok where is that diabolical criminal IMTOOCUTUS! She only stops babbling or leaves the scene when a crime has been committed! Damn, she messed this thing up so bad that the little light on the … um … oh, she clicked the off switch on the outlet strip … whew!

On goes the computer, and the little start up screen is looking back at Superdaddyman, so the word goes out to Captain ADHD that the treaty has been signed and he may now partake of his new computer. He comes scrambling into the room {tripping over everything of course} to get at his new computer and clicks the little “Dirt Bike” icon next to his name … the windows music starts … and Superdaddyman’s diabolical scheme to employ this electronic babysitter is complete!

Down in the Superdaddyman cave, our favorite super hero is working on important online detective work {downloading porn} when he hears the pitter patter of medium sized footsteps come down the stairs. “Can I play Video games now?” comes the voice of Captain ADHD. Have I mentioned that it has been a little under ten minutes that the computer that Captain ADHD has nagged about for two weeks has even been on!! With a waning nod, Superdaddyman looks at Captain ADHD as he admits to himself that sometimes it’s good to have the “old electronic babysitter” to fall back on so that he can get his important research done. ;8o)

Just a note to all of you {since for me this was a short blog ... lol} I have updated a lot of The Crow's Nest, and the Music Videos are back up, and I have been adding more things daily {ADHD Yanno!!} ... if you are like me and you don't host your blogs on the big guys then don't forget to get your FREE Advertising by adding your page to The Crow's Nest ... Us independent bloggers are all in this together yanno! Those of you with pages on the Big Guys are still welcome to leave your links too ;-) ... J~

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! ..

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Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest