Sunday, January 15, 2006

Superdaddyman Takes on The Pink Mafia - Volume 5

Well now apparently I can get better at the whole “running of my mouth thing” as I was fortunate enough NOT to totally trash talk about my Patriots before they went down in flames last night. It was a perfect ending to a rather bad week, but this blog is not going to be one of those entries, but more of a recap of the good things I didn’t talk about while I was playing violins for myself. I’ll start with the SECOND half of Friday … After I get on my cape and cowl … ok … where did I put those … um … nope … chains? … um … dress? … ah … damn! … Oh here it is … Ok, no peeking while I get changed now ….

So again our wonderful super hero, the Superdaddyman has arrived at the headquarters of OPNP {Operation Pleasure & Pain} sick and miserable, with every joint in his super body inflamed with pain from the flu! The bio toxins that TOKE {The Terrorist Organization Known as The Evils’s} had brought home from the other TOKE HQ {aka School} had finally left our brave crime fighter weakened and disheveled and totally terrified of having to go through the torturous rituals of “Workplace Hardening” while in this state. Upon walking in he finds out that the bio toxins were so powerful that they had taken out the operatives of OPNP as well, and the meeting had been cancelled!!! Score one for the good guys!

Like any brave crime fighter would do on a 60 degree day in January, where the operatives of PMHQ {Pink Mafia Headquarters} think he is at PT would do, Superdaddyman decided to patrol the streets of Megalopolis looking for damsels in distress, until he would go back to PMHQ, with them being none the wiser! The 60 degree weather for the last few days had finally brought the legs back out of the places that these beautiful young damsels put them for the winter, so it was a banner day for Superdaddypervert … oops … Freudian … Superdaddyman to sit with a coffee and admire scenery for a bit.

After the fair maidens of Megalopolis were taken care of by our brave and courteous crime fighter, he was back to PMHQ, where he could continue his plight to take down the horrific evil known as “The Pink Mafia” from inside as he does almost everyday for the lucky people of Megalopolis! This of course requires the evil music being played in the Superdaddymobile {Static X … Push it!} so that our lovable super hero can get into the mood for the evil that he needs to undergo, in the never ending battle to rid the world of such menacing foes!

Being a Friday at PMHQ, some of the best plans can usually be laid out, and implemented to carry forth in the coming week as Superdaddyman is one of the only people here. Most of the prep work for gloriously evil … oops I mean … Genuinely honest, pure and lighthearted pranks get set up on Fridays while the rest of the company has 3 day weekends. Superdaddyman of course, because of his undercover title of “Custodial Engineer” {Janitor} has to work the 5 days a week plan, but it gives him all of this free time. The Pink Mafia has been onto him for a while now, so they usually assign a babysitter to him now, and you cannot even begin to understand what an unwanted job THAT IS!

Today it just so happened to be the Arch Nemesis of Superdaddyman himself in the form of one “King Paco Taco!” {KPT} who hasn’t been playing very nice with the Superdaddyman as of late {Shrink Wrapped and Vacuum Sealed his Van … Forced him to sit and read off the Dirty IM’s coming over his Cell phone … Placed the totally full mop bucket of bathroom floor water where Superdaddyman would fall into it … etc etc etc} so it was going to be rather hard for our caped crime fighter to get much done today … or will it? … que up my “muahahahahaha” music will ya?

Unbeknown to the fiendishly evil KPT, Superdaddyman came across a rare treasure when he was cleaning the office bathrooms. Sitting beside the sink was a peculiarly shiny little band of gold that resembled one KPT’s wedding ring! Superdaddyman of course placed this in his pocket for safe keeping {Oh My God … did any of you actually buy that?} while he went about the rest of his tasks in the Cleaning of PMHQ. It was with the greatest of delight that he found KPT laying on his back tearing apart the drains of the sink getting piles of sink plaque all over himself in the process. This is nothing new to a brave crime fighter as he does his usual undercover work, but is rather awkward to a Crime Boss in the Pink Mafia, who’s only job usually is to boss other people around.

It appears that when he heard the jingling of metal coming from inside the drain when water was going through it he got terrified {apparently Queen Paco Taco wears the penis in that family} and he was doing everything he possibly could to keep his sorry ass from his new accommodations in the “Château Le Doggie House” by trying to get his wedding band back. Ah yes the things that pride will do to you as he could have simply asked the Superdaddyman about it and perhaps found out about the ring in his pocket before he undertook such a perilous quest. He may have actually found out about the iron washer that Superdaddyman accidentally {of course} dropped down into the drain, just an hour before he decided to cover himself in drain slime, and cut the crap out of his knuckles. Oh that reminds me I better go put this ring in the lost and found drawer of his desk! … Evil accomplished! Muahahahahahahaha!

So let this be a lesson to all of you boys and girls out there in Cyberland … It is very important to understand that revenge can always be accomplished simply by having a little patience and some creativity … um … not that Superdaddyman would EVER endorse such disreputable behavior, but you never know when the opportunity to incapacitate one of your enemies will happen, so you need to be prepared to do good deeds like sniffing the company server from the bosses computer, while he is busy saving his ass from himself. ;8o)

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! ..

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