Monday, December 19, 2005

The Jeremy Crow Christmas Countdown 2005 #7


So today is Christmas presents day for all of the poor families of Rye {meaning mine}, so I had to go to the school on my way home from work to pick up all of the gifts that the Fire Department had collected for the kids. This was a bumper year actually, as I received 3 large garbage bags full of toys, and clothes. I haven’t figured out why they don’t just put the collection bin right out front of my house actually, as it would save the trouble of the firemen wrapping all the gifts. So I realize that someone is probably looking at what I am saying in abstract terror, over the things that I am admitting here, but it is actually a very long and involved story, and those of you that know me will tell those of you that do not, that long and boring is my MO, so here it goes.

I lost just about every dime I had getting custody of my children to begin with, and after a year of being called into court, at random to have to answer all of “The Mother of All The Evils’s” appeals {which usually amounted to “But your honor, I dumped that last druggie-child molester, and my new live-in druggie-child molester sitting here next to me … ~*smack*~ stop drooling when you look at my kids you moron … ahem … has promised NOT to smoke crack with the kids in the same room with him, or walk around the house naked playing with him self like the last 5 I brought in here … um … Honest Injun” and then an explanation on why she doesn’t pay her child support, thus leading to a … “We’ll see you two next month”}, and having another wife leave in the middle of this all … pretty much left me broke. Aside from the afore mentioned “No Child Support Anyway” I raise 3 evils’s and a Grandmother on next to nothing.

This is actually the only service I accept because I was nagged into it by the school guidance councilor, because they really did have nobody in town to give this stuff too. The filthy rich community that we live in {as I have owned this house before I had to take on an entire state government to get my kids} desperately wants to give toys to the needy, and the town has a toy drive every year for “residents only” and again with the whole beach town filled with million dollar mansions … well … you get the picture. I often joke about having no pride and actually I do have quite a bit, as I have made it quite ok, being injured and making squat, while supporting this brood. I was rejected for food stamps at one time, and I had felt asking in the first place was a humiliating enough experience that now that I am not allowed any overtime {thus cutting my pay in half} I actually do qualify, despite the fact that they count the phantom child support towards it. I just haven’t felt like acquiring it, so there is more
kitty in the till for the rest of ya.

I find it amusing now, that the community has basically figured out who the gifts are for. Where they used to say “Boy Age 6” or “Girl Age 12”, the gifts now have the kids names on them when they come, but I got over that last year {and yes I was kinda frustrated} and have simply chalked it up to only having to place “From Daddy” or “From Santa” or “From Mom” on the gifts {and yes I am one of those loser parents that gives the kids gifts and says they are from their mother, because it isn’t THEIR fault that she doesn’t, and I remember when I was a kid how much I HATED that}, and this year there were gifts that also said “Daddy” or “Jeremy” on them in the bundles. I am kinda curious as to who or what, but I am sure that I am going to open at least one and find a name and a phone number. All in all the thought is very appreciated as the Superdaddymobile needs new tires, so I can simply use the last of whatever Christmas money for that, and still open stuff {because yes you have to get gifts for yourself and let the kids wrap them … I have them convinced that I love underwear and socks … the cheap ones especially … *grins*}

Yesterday I did the rest of my Christmas shopping in typical Singledaddyman fashion, while the kids were at their Auntie’s … In about 1 hour I managed to get 3 Video Now Color … 3 Stockings worth of toys {slinkies, jax, marbles, etch-a-sketches, funny money, chocolate coins, snickers flavored lip gloss, plastic farm animals, plastic dinosaurs, jump ropes with wooden handles, elastic paddle balls, and various candy, as well as Slim Jim’s that I hope I can resist until Christmas morning} get an Oil Change on the Minivan {where I had it pointed out to me that the metal threads are showing on the back of the tires … ack}, and made a visit to Dunkin Donuts. Who says all of the holiday shopping is hell?

This day {as in today} actually amuses me, as I went into work and had MORE gifts waiting for me, as I thought I had solved that issue already, but I always forget that solving those sorts of issues places the “challenge tag” on me, so I give up there too, besides the assorted Dove Chunk cookies, and the peeled almonds killed two birds with one stone. I ate the almonds while I was working, and I brought the cookies home with me so that the kids can think for a fleeting moment that I care about them. I am pretty sure that these two are off for the next two weeks, and perhaps their husbands will treat them better in the away time. If they don’t I am going to have to just start dropping hints to them about how much I love Slim Jim’s. Oops … be right back have to take Imtoocutus to a friend’s birthday party, at the bowling alley …. Have a great evening everyone ;8o)