Saturday, December 24, 2005

The Jeremy Crow Christmas Countdown 2005 #2


Awoken once again Jeremy Scrooge heard nothing at all but felt a long lick across his face , and jumped up startled to see a ghost all dressed in leather and holding a riding crop. "I take it you must be the ghost of Christmas yet to come huh?" said a still very startled Jeremy Scrooge. He wasn't startled enough to NOT grab the riding crop out of the Ghosts hands.

"Oh bitch, you did not just do that?" the ghost said to him and then got a very evil grin on her face, "I kinda like a man that takes control though, are you going to spank me now, I've been so damn bad after all?" and she turned to show Jeremy Scrooge her ass.

"Oh boy, you're going to be a real hoot, I see. How's about you give me a name and then we can go about this evening, and then I can get Christmas over with ok?" Jeremy Scrooge said with his usual lack of humor, "That Lynn ghost that over-emphasizes everything already told me that you were coming."

"Oh Geeze, you should hear her on the phone, she is pure death on your ears, um ... Oh yeah my name is Elonna, but you can call me mistress, so put on this leash and I will walk you through your ..." she stopped short and looked at the obviously cross looking Jeremy Scrooge, "Ok fine, I'll wear the leash, but how do you know how to get there?" again she looked at Jeremy Scrooge and grabbed his hand, "Tight Ass, not that that's a bad thing" and then she licked him on the face again before they disappeared.

The scene was very familiar as Jeremy Scrooge could see himself sitting over in the chair in the corner that Greektradgedius once sat in. His hair was as grey as hers once was, and he figured he would go without the question and answer about what happened to her, as he could tell by his own hair that more years than what she had had passed, and even felt himself a bit sad about it. The knock on the door was that of what once was a little evil, but now apparently is a college aged evil, who was late as she always was. She ran right over to the older Jeremy Scrooge, and gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek, "Sorry daddy, but you know how the traffic is this time of the year," and Big evil came out of the kitchen to greet her little sister with the most peculiar sight around her legs, as Jeremy Scrooge finally gazed upon the littlest evil of them all. She was cute as a button, and for the life of Jeremy Scrooge he couldn't even remember any of his evils's ever being this small at all.

Shaking off the sentimentality as fast as he possibly could, Jeremy Scrooge finally belted out “Why did they all come to my house? I would have thought that I would have a life by now, and they would have all been gone, and where is Middle Evil?” the demanding tones in his voice made the Elonna Ghost chuckle, at his requests for information.

“What do I look like an encyclopedia?” and after a few moments of looking at Jeremy Scrooge’s face scowling at her, she started in again with, “Look, this ain’t your house sugar, you gave it to Big Evil and her husband, when you and your wife got a little place of your own, a little ways away from here. Hell your wife went off to be with her family while you came here, and I’ll tell you, that talk she gave you about having 358 days a year together so missing each other for 7 being a snap was sweeter than … um … this … well .. um … that actually ties into that life part you talked about anyways. You didn’t think you were going to be alone forever did ya? Middle evil is in the Air Force and he is flying jets just like YOU always told him he could, and this year was his year on, but you saw him last month,” after looking around curiously, she added, “You actually thought you were gonna get out of coming here this year till that sweet lil Angel there called you up, crying because she didn’t know how to make breakfast and said ‘I’m too Yiddle bumpa’ .. oh man ya big softie you”

By this time Jeremy Scrooge wasn’t actually listening to Elonna Ghost anymore, as he was simply staring at the Really Little Evil, as she entertained everyone, and tried to steal everyone’s attention, the whole time holding on to the pant leg of her grandfather, as if she was afraid he was going to leave. Little Evil was handing out everyone’s presents as she has for the last 16 years or so, and when the other Jeremy Scrooge sits down Really Little evil takes up her place between his feet on the floor. The younger Jeremy Scrooge stands there fascinated by what is happening as the first gift gets to Really Little Evil, and she starts tearing off the wrappings.

“A BOX A BOX …. LOOK BUMPA I GOT A BOX,” and she starts running around like a little lunatic waving her box in the air for everyone to see. She does the whole tour, and when she is worn out from her little adventure running around she leaps into her grandfather’s lap, and gives him a hug after dropping the greatest box she had ever gotten.

“Well you see baby girl, the gift is inside of the box, and you need …” started the older Scrooge in a kind sounding voice, as the Younger Scrooge feels a hand on his shoulder, and he tries to pull away with tears in his eyes, but the Elonna Ghost, as her supervisor Lynn had promised had done her job quite well already … the room slowly starts to fade away, and it gets dark.

When Jeremy Scrooge awakens at his desk he wiggles his mouse to see that it says that it is only 6 am December 25th on his computer, and there are dozens of Christmas cards from his friends waiting in his e-mail box on the desktop. Somehow he managed to delete everything he was writing, while most likely rolling his head around on the keyboard. Sitting straighter up he see’s the very first one on the desktop and immediately grabs the phone. Dialing the phone he listens to it ring a few times …. “Merry Christmas Lori” he says into the phone “No I just wanted to see how everything went with your kids yesterday ….. Good good ….. no I am going to wake the kids up in a little bit …… well yeah I am amazed that they can sleep in on Christmas day too, but I think they are content is all …… well actually it’s all about the kids yanno, I learned that from my dad ……” ;8o)