Tuesday, December 6, 2005

And The Merry Go Round Broke Down - Volume 5

The prevailing trails of the underachiever have been blazoned with the remains of many a soul who has had to be let go. I am sorry to those who have felt that I am a horse’s ass over the last month, and believe it or not I actually mean that. It was another one of those wonderful nights where I was plowing through my 360 list wondering who was going to be cut out, and who was going to remain and along with it this time I was forced to go through my messenger list as well. You see unfortunately {here comes the horses ass part} as I am getting way more popular than the average janitor, from a state known mostly for people humping cows than anything else, the burdens on my time are simply stupefying. I get home from work today, I sit down at my computer, and a flurry of IM’s start crashing at me as I am trying to write and it get’s me pissy most of the time … the sad part is that these are the people I actually LIKE!!!

So as I am sitting here I decided that it is time to simply call everyone out on my 360 list, and tell you ALL why they are actually there. This is dedicated to the masses who must wonder, what goes on behind the scenes at the Superdaddycave, and is also for those of you that constantly send me your IM ID and then probably wonder why I never add you. Most of the time, nagging me is a wonderful indicator, of what is going to come the second I actually do add you, so please keep that in mind {this is also a HUGE hint to those who 360 message me or post comments in my blog begging me to come to your blog}. So onward to “The Crow’s Guide to Making Friends and Playing Nice” … or “The Crow’s Guide to Pissing Off the Few Friends He Has Left” depending on how you are doing today.

My IM list is actually two parts … I have the Yahoo one {not Jeremycrow4life btw … I stopped opening that when I realized that having 300+ people on your list was like saying … “Hey I don’t ever want to do ANYTHING constructive”} which is for a couple dozen people that actually serve useful rolls in my life, but it can still be turned off, if the useful roles are given way to the Bart Simpson like “Look at me … Look at MEEEEE!!” and in that case I have the emergency MSN account, which only has my lifelines {Lori, Cathy, Lizzie, Kathy, Elonna, Maggie, Deb, and Megan} and it is staying that way damnit!!! There are simple categories that are reasoning behind the usage of the all important IM list you see … People who amuse … People who commit evil with me … People who listen to me {these categories all are chock full of those that call me on my shit}.

Of course purely for shock value I am going to call some of these people out to be shimmering powers of example to all. Starting with “People who amuse me” I shall point out the absolute best of the best … In alphabetical order so don’t read anything into it … sheesh … some ARE omitted here out of respect to their wishes or lack of communications as of late …“People Who Amuse Me”

Amy {Lick} … Now here is a woman who never bothers me, unless she is damn sure she is gonna make me laugh, and at that point it is usually a hit & run. Her honesty is absolutely blinding too, so if I needed my shit called out, she’d probably beat me with a stick. Aside from that, her away messages are really cute, and I get to shoot funny comments about them often … gotta love that!

Bren {FunInTheSun} … Almost never says ANYTHING really … but when she pops up, it is usually a very short and sweet thing that just makes me smile {compliments, without ego fluffing} and has been one of my most honest friends {and she is probably reading this and shaking her head no … lol}

Jo & Rob {Ladybird & Birdog} {yeah they kinda go together} … they never IM me, but always have a funny comment on anything I IM them about … damn you gotta love people like this!!!

Lisa … Her job really is to just be adorable, and every once in a while cheer me along, never bothers me, just a happy face once in a while to chat with, and sometimes to throw idea’s off of … a great person

Marilyn {Merl} … My sweetie, this girl is the bee’s balls {Nooooo Hampshah for whicked awesome!} she never bugs me, unless she is totally worried about me, and is always there with an ear. Her away messages are the sweetest sugar you can see throughout your day, and she only wants to see me smile.

Sarah {Twinks} … The sweetest young lady I will ever meet … for reals … she just does what she can to make me smile and accidentally teaches me stuff along the way. Don’t let her completely fool you though, as she often has some adult in her.

Stacy {Boofy} … fact is she can’t stand me at all, and unlike everyone else here she tends to take up a lot of my time … reason this blog is so late actually … but I can’t resist talking to her, as we dance around each other constantly, so I guess I will leave it at that.

Stevie {Stevie} … this guy can go in all categories actually, but he is the bomb when it comes to those that can talk up a storm if you want or go away if you are busy … don’t let him fool you though … he is NOTHING like you think, and that also makes him incredibly fascinating.

Tammy {Milady} … such a sweet, honest and caring person, who shares a lot of laughs with me. Often just checks in from time to time to see how I am doing, and it is a blessing when she does.

Terri {River} … Amy’s clone actually, and I have known her a lot longer. She does the really funny away messages, and she has ALWAYS been there when I needed her. She fits into all the categories, but I rarely use her for evil … lol

Vanessa {Shortcutefullofchit} … just a sweet person who likes to chat once in a while, funny as all hell, usually very good at spotting the things that I don’t notice, and definitely tries like hell to be there when you need her.

Now on to “People Who Commit Evil With Me” …

Chrystal {OkIrishChic} … most of you knew she was there, and she is one of my bestest friends online of course. Her heart must look like the Grinch’s did after he brought back the presents to the kids. Too many reasons to list really, but she does fit in to every category. It’s the evil we do in blogs and Blogaholics Anonymous though that is the stuff of legend!!!

Cyndi & Stacy … a two fer … they found me together, and they assist me in such wonderful evil plots against humanity … so great in fact, that I dare not go into it here, but when you find out about a major US city covered in Jello … they were with me and that is what I am going to tell the police!!

Debra {Night Owl} … one of the co-writers I have enjoyed working with, but her evil mind, and sharp wit are just impossible to go without. The wonderful thing about her is that she is always willing to go the extra mile to back up my pranks on other peoples blogs too just like Don who is next.

Don {Don Mc} … yeah he’s my adopted Dad and all, but it is the mischief that we have committed over the months that keeps us together. His ability to care for me is also quite legendary, so I guess I need not get too far into this one.

Elonna {Moonshadow} … yeah this is my ultimate buddy as you all know, she could have been in any category, but I think we are at our best when we are being evil … we ended up together purely out of being two givers who needed each other to take from, but don’t get me wrong … we can get damn evil if we wanna

Rachel {Rayoflight} … now this chic IS EVIL … ding ding ding ding … 80% of my painful revelations come from this person!! Sure she is there for me and all but damn … ding ding ding … and she is like a machine gun in IM … go to Elonna’s blog for the whole story … ack

Sean {Naes} … now this guy is EVIL also … has the ability to plot and plan the most heinous shit, and always knows where the good stuff to commit horrible acts on unsuspecting victims truly is. He is the one place to go, when I need to GET EVEN, or just to catch a scumbag. God I am blessed to have such whicked friends … muahahahaha

Lastly “People who listen to me” …

Janet … such a wonderful gift to meet in 360, despite having actually known her in FOBW, it was in the blog world that she truly became my friend

Kathy {Punkin} … another one of the people who I managed to commandeer as a friend at the tail end of my FOBW days. This is the person who everyone has to thank for what I am. She has never let me quit this blogging adventure, and I shall let the court of public opinion decide whether that is a good thing or not.

Lori {Official Sox Babe} … yep, where would I be today without the faithful sidekick to Superdaddyman, and the most trusted ear I have ever used. We went from the Luke & Laura of 360 to the Jerry & Elaine without missing a beat, and now we simply make everyone’s power of example list as how to behave after the romance ends.

Lynn … like Janet & Kathy … another FOBW person who I wouldn’t let get away. You all know what she is like, brilliant, funny, and fascinating, and best part of having her on the list, is she always has time for me when I need her, and usually only pops up when she knows it is something hillarious she is about to say.

Maggie & Marianne {Acutecharp} … Mom & Sis of the cyberworld … you two have always been here for me, and I hope to always be here for you

Mary Kay {M Kay} … one of the newest editions, but a brilliant woman who always makes me feel better about myself, just by talking to me and showing me that I am worthy of talking to.

Shannon {Fairygirl} … although she has abandoned poor Lonna and me lately I guess I shall mention my Shannon anyway … lol … she is one of the absolute pillars of my house, and her encouragement has made me desperately want to be better, at every step along my 360 journey.

Now with that I want to apologize to the 3 I skipped … either uncomfortable because I didn’t get a response and would have wanted one first, or because I just didn’t feel like it, or haven’t heard from ya in too long … Love Ya’ll but I am sick of typing ;8o)

Oh and an honorable mention to Kelly {Flirty} ... who keeps getting her ID taken away from her too quick for me to keep up, but I had her last two I swear ... lol - and Jen {Bratgirl} ... who never asked, because she secretly believes I have cooties :D

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! ..

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Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest