Monday, November 14, 2005

Deadly Sins Therapy - Volume 7

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Forgive me a minute while I drag out my trusty old soapbox. Ok, I perch myself on top of this soapbox today, as I am gonna give testament to something that I know we have all been dealing with. I am hear to explain to explain to you what I have always found to be the deadliest of all sins, despite the fact that it is one of the two I do not carry with me. I have often talked about Superbia {Pride} being known as the deadliest of sins, and in past blogs have told you many fascinating ways to eliminate it all together, but today it is all about the big one. Invidia {Envy} is not a might kill you it is a will definitely destroy you, and not quickly, but very slow and painfully. The saddest of all realities, is that it is ingrained in most of us, amplified in many of us, and for the very few of us it just doesn’t factor in.

Here’s how this works out in the long run. As a person of particularly less-than honest intentions, the raging jealousy will cloud their minds, so badly that often the simplest of reactions to anything are mired in the insanity of what you want to believe as apposed to what is honest reality. You can not assume that a little jealousy, is an ok thing, because it always leads to more. I have watched people lately allow their jealousy to lead to manipulation to total destruction of friendships, and I am here today to tell you all to simply CUT IT OUT! In the history of mankind no amount of jealously led manipulation has EVER done anyone any good, and worse yet it usually only inspires people angry or laughing, when you are done being an idiot, and eradicated from the situation. There are much less painful ways to eliminate yourself from someone’s life that through this course of action, despite any benefit you think you may gain along the way. To those that are forced to deal with these types of people, eradicating from the very start is your only salvation. People like this are sick from their very soul, and usually are not treatable. All they have left to live for, is their subconscious dreams to take you with them.

How do we deal with Invidia differs from most people but I am going to share with you the way I have dealt with it in myself, and the way I have seen others deal with it successfully. First off, on the few occasions, I have found myself jealous, again the key was eradication. Whether it was either of the reasons for it … I was being an ass and became jealous … or they were being an ass and supported my need to be jealous … Eradication is the ONLY cure, because it is a horribly unhealthy way to be. Arguing that point leads to denial which in and of itself is yet another destructive symptom of the malady. As explained before the manipulation involved with maintaining envy is an unspeakable burden, not only toward the person you are manipulating, but especially to yourself. The unspeakable lies, and the inability of most to keep track of their own bullshit is daunting. In the end you will end up a half dead zombie of deceit, and at the mercy of others reactions to your own lies.

Allow me to relate this to my own experience, with a few examples … My second wife {the whore} had a very bad habit of constantly accusing me of cheating on her. I found it endearing for a time, but as my mind is not riddled with envy, I didn’t {at that time} see it for what it was worth. She probably did not have a faithful day to me once, and it would coincide with the complete and utter insanity, of her own behaviors towards me. Rather than facing the facts that she was an unfaithful person who was being crippled by her own guilt she simply amplified it outwards at me. The assumption that “because I am constantly thinking of, or actually cheating on” would actually force her jealousy outward onto me. The manipulation that occurred was the fact that, behind my back, while I was totally innocent to what she was accusing me of {and I say this in all honesty, I never once thought about another woman, from the day we married until the day of our divorce, and the processes before and after}, she was indeed carrying on affair, after affair, until it all came crashing down upon her the last day we lived together as husband and wife. The fact that everyone I knew at the time, had been poisoned for over 2 years to the belief that I was unfaithful, was the most awe inspiring manipulation I had ever seen. Now mind you, it was a bitter pill that added to my jaded package today, but I still refuse to allow Invidia to change me into that, despite the fear of it. Eliminating the people who cause these sorts of feelings, keeps me grounded, and in a better frame of mind, because they were never worth it to begin with. Ask any of my ex’s who have given me any reason to feel jealous, since then, and they can usually tell you about how they very quickly and honestly got their walking papers. I do not deserve any situations which create the type of venom that Invidia causes ever again.

Now, lets take some of these knuckleheads crawling about the pages of 360 for instance, as you all probably knew I was going here. Most of my friends have found that contributing to my little world might often get you whatever desired results you came looking for to begin with. You see that people like Don & Cathy {gotta use the people you know won’t get offended .. LOL} for instance have become superstars in the online world by simply being themselves, and I am the luckiest man on Earth for meeting them. Many, many others too have discovered that my friendship has no strings attached, and I truly enjoy being parts of everyone’s lives, when they either ask me to be, or accept me to be. There unfortunately are those who look at my peculiar form of popularity, and get so replete with envy that I have watched them totally destroy themselves, or am at this very moment watching them grow more sicker in their soul then I ever thought imaginable. Many people get lost in the online illusions that I have created through {thank you God, I truly appreciate you yanno} a wonderfully creative writing ability, and have yet to see the bigger picture out of their own jaded envy, and spite. This being that, I am, and always will be exactly as I am presented, a single father of 3, barely making it financially, forced to live with his overbearing grandmother out of obligations he created to her, who also just happens to have a boatload of problems that he works out and shares online with everyone else. In the 360 universe, my honesty, creativity, kindhearted need to help others, and humor, all have somehow combined into an appealing package and I thank all of you who help in enhancing it. To be envious of it, makes you a fool, because I am pretty sure that if it were possible to think rationally about what you are doing, then you would see that the person who I have to become, when the computer is turned off, may not always be something worthy of envy to begin with. I like me, others love me, and to those that envy me, may others learn to eradicate you as swiftly as I do, because you don‘t help, you hurt. ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes& Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest