Thursday, October 6, 2005

Superdaddyman Takes on the Pink Mafia - Volume 1

It is not easy for Superdaddyman to infiltrate this faction of the Pink Mafia. He at one time WAS a part of this faction of the Pink Mafia after all, and the distaste that many of these people have left me with is already there. You can say a lot of things about Superdaddyman, but stupid isn’t one of them, so often it is very difficult for your friendly local super-hero to relate at all with THESE people. I often note, that LAZY is not one of my characteristics either {said by a man who you all know comments daily on 60 blogs, writes his own rather large one, writes out an entire dream and e-mails it, watches 3 kids and an evil grandmother, and still manages to squeeze in ten hours with THESE bozo’s}, so while I am trying to sit back this week, and assess what I am really going to do, I am still drawn to try to repair the Niagara Falls of leaky faucets. Here’s what I have concluded after the first few nights in the play pen.

My first and foremost task at hand is to {apparently} train my old supervisor turned new again. He is the nicest guy, you’ll ever meet. One of the guys, a real chum, personable, likes beer, football, and a good bet. In other words, he should be back running that coater, like most people who are too easily swayed into “chuminess” The nepotism on this shift is blinding from the word go. Superdaddyman is NOT here to make friends, and as a matter of fact, he had already made enemies with most of these people when he got injured {Lifting too much crap repeatedly, as the lazy ass bastards around him “disappeared”}, and you could see by the look of horror on some of these peoples faces, they still knew his opinions. Although it is important {as always} for me to claim my first Capo, in the war against the “other evil” in my damn life, I wasn‘t expecting what I got realistically. I was fortunate that by the end of the second day she claimed me. Stick with the evil you know I always say. Superdaddyman is always ready to don one of his other costumes at a moments notice, and for this task it is important to come dressed as a “Wig”, or “Chix Dick” as many are starting to refer to him. Of course I made an alliance with the “Angry Lesbian” on the crew. Those are always the ones who flock to my service, some call it a curse, I have always thought of it as a gift from God. You raise the dead if you want, I’ll raise the angry estrogen. She also happens to be a cancer survivor, which makes her even that much more furious with the lazy element.

She doesn’t quite do things the way Iris or Pierre did, but it is important to note, that these dogs have been peeing on the carpet for a lot longer than anything I had had to deal with on the day shift. When she came up to me, it wasn’t the “I’m sorry Jeremy, I have to go get that girl!” mentality that Iris brought, but it sounded more like this “That f*cking, f*cked up, f*cker! I’m going out there and kick that f*cking assh*les, f*cking ass, and drag his useless piece of sh*t, f*cking carcass in here! OK???” to which I replied with a “You go girl,” and thus I can only imagine what she said to him. I note that he wasn’t exactly any quicker, but she was riding his sorry ass the rest of the night. If she doesn’t straiten his ass out, then I am sure that he will at the very least quit. This is as good as anything else, because I don’t subscribe to the “Warm Body” theory that my new King prefers to use. I am going to be a miserable jerk for a few weeks I am sure.

Let’s throw out another one of those scenario’s that probably makes babysitting my new King a little bit of a chore. We were a man down, since Corky Pig {named after Corky from “Life Goes On“, and the fact that he steals everyones food constantly}, has come in and left 2 strait nights after he walked in with a tummy ache. This is one of those people we all love. On the table of intelligence, he comes somewhere between “plastic bracelets” and “head cheese.” Worse yet he is that type of stupid, that thinks he’s the smartest person in the room. I don’t mind stupid really as long as they accept it and are ok with it. This moron gets angry when you prove he is stupid, but I am getting off topic, sorry. This problem forces the King to relocate his subjects, me being the Under-Boss will be relocated into one of these positions to fill the void. Now mind you, I am the best fork truck driver in the whole plant. I make everything look easy, and it is just in my nature to do it, and I have been doing it on the other shift. Hell no, he wants the oldest man in the place to do it. This poor guy is terrified of driving the truck and spends his entire night working from so far behind that he usually, just looks scared. He places me in “his” position, which I am ok at, but I do not compare to the man on the truck. Do you see a pattern of how this King operates. Same old bullsh*t I dealt with before. I took to giving the poor guy a 10 minute break every hour, so he could walk around with a soda, and I would catch him up. Here I am again over working. My first official butting of the heads with the person above me has begun, when he told me that I was to let Frank do that job, and stick to my own. My exact words “Your ability to be right all the time, bought you a babysitter, that already can’t stand the way you operate. I am not going to watch you drive that guy insane,” and before I left yesterday, I made sure to give him a 20 minute break, as I totally got him caught up, and left him in good enough shape to hopefully make it the last 2 hours of his day. I stared up at the office window at the new King, as I was walking to the time clock. Superdaddyman, has spoken, and the Pink Mafia is in for a rude awakening.

It sucks giving a sh*t, despite my usual apathy that I have acquired since day one on my new shift. Some noted that I looked depressed, although the truth of the matter is, I am not, I am quite cheerful about the whole thing. I may hate the pill I agreed to swallow, and I knew that going into it. I thank Polly Pureheart for her phone texts all night, as they seem to keep me grounded, but the battle plans are simply being drawn right now. Superdaddyman ain’t playin’ this time around, and there will either be a new plan of running the Pink Mafia Twilight edition, or it is going to be a very bumpy ride until one of us gets fired. Either way, I ain’t getting an ulcer over this sh*t. I am at this time sitting at my desk at work screwing around on the computer, as my new King went home for the night, thus making me {the Under-Boss} the Over-Boss, so I am letting my new Capo, beat some ass while I catch up on my blogging. Fortunately I always throw my latest blog that I am working on in my Yahoo Briefcase, just in case I get abducted by aliens or kidnapped by Amazonians. I hate it when that happens, but at least I‘ll be able to post my blog when they assume my inferior intellect can‘t get past their windows password, or a company firewall as well. ;8o)