Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Superdaddyman Takes on the Pink Mafia - Volume 3

There he stood, the new guard, the man who was to take the Twilight edition of the Pink Mafia to the next level, and here Superdaddyman stands with his 400 page booklet, of “Why I am a Cripple” to hand over to this new King. The first words that left his mouth, were partly a retaliation toward Superdaddyman’s behavior the week previous, but mostly a shot across Superdaddyman’s bow, as well, “Ok, I want you down between the two box makers all night, and I don’t want to see you out smoking all the time,” a part of me was looking at him with that vacant stare I often give, while my mind is searching for the perfect rebuttal to such an open chin, hanging in front of him. Would it be an uppercut? Perhaps a right cross? … what came out was the first thing that entered my mind “I hope you have moments of temporary blindness then, because if you question my work ethic again, it is going to be a very long, short career for you,” and with that King George {the old boss} executed “Operation Change the Subject” most brilliantly, so that I could leave the situation. It was going to be one of those nights.

As far as work abuse goes, I have always been a taker … I take all the shit they give me, and I usually smile. Now that I have these papers saying that I am permanently disabled, or at the very least, always going to be less than 100%, I have retooled my efforts to get out of the abject slavery that they impose on me. In truth I have allowed it, but that was officially ending last night as I entered the workplace with definite attitude issues, over my pay, and my hatred for The Pink Mafia in general. I had no issues parse’ I was actually in a rather wonderful mood, as Polly and I had spent the whole night before cuddling and watching Buffy, I just wasn’t allowing any of this crap to change that. There was a new weapon in the Superdaddyman belt, and I was prepared to use it at will … NO! I quipped in my Mental Notes, that I am going to break this guy shortly after, and I am actually impressed that his tenacity, although ridiculously misplaced, at best, might actually be up to my caliber. My Capo, saw what was happening and she took off within the first hour of work, with a tummy ache to allow me {the master after all} to deal with this first epic battle on my own. The new Super Villain at Pink Mafia HQ, might be a worthy adversary for now, but 3 marriages, 3 evil lil’ bastards, and Greektradgedius Inyiddish, have trained me well in the art of “Poisoning Ones Soul” slowly, painfully, and with great malice. He’s also totally fucked in the fact that I want to be fired, and that is NOT exactly hard to see.

I started toying with this one, despite my hatred for spiders, I can see now that the way they deal with their prey can be fascinating. I immediately started by simply taking his orders literally. One of the many things that the average management types will never quite comprehend, is that it actually takes the experience of others to make them look good. While he made so many wonderful attempts to beat me down to where he felt I belonged, I simply rolled with it. So you want me to make sure that the boxes are made? That’s not a problem you see, as it gives me less walking around to do. Everything else fell by the waste side, as I simply made my boxes. “I did EXACTLY as you told me to do,” was so very hard to turn around, when he was unhappy about the outcomes, as the night passed. He heard the word NO a lot, and it wasn’t in his “Jeremy Crow Instruction Manual” which clearly stated, “Treat this guy like your bitch, because history bares that out”, and you could simply see the rage in his eyes as the night dragged on. My smoking habits were starting to become the least of his problems, as he sent me around to give everyone their lunch breaks. It becomes very apparent, very fast that Superdaddyman is better at doing everyone else’s jobs than they are, and it is almost a let down, when the other people come back to take up their posts. This of course is NOT my problem. I am just a pee-on {giggling} ... I did at one point say to him "Let's get one thing strait, just because I am the company fuckin cripple doesn't mean that you need to fill my every available moment. If you think I am not working hard enough, then you are an idiot. I will start treating you that way if you wish, but I already outwork most of you. Wanna piss me off? keep reminding me of that because it's how I got hurt to begin with," and then went outside for a smoke. He chose not to follow, so either he is plotting, or learning. I could give to shits either way.

After finishing the breaks, I collected the list for my nightly coffee run, and I could hear it before it even happened, but I persisted that I am going to maintain at least one shred of normalcy in this idiot parade, “I don’t think that you need to go out and get coffee, we have a coffee machine here”, which once again, was met by the glazed eyes of Superdaddyman. What am I to do on this one, as the thought of telling this poor ineffectual middle management suck up, to simply kiss off, was actually the first thing to enter the mind. I looked back at him and said “Your only piece of friendly advice I give you, is to spend less time worrying about what I do, and more time worrying about how everyone here perceives you. If you think that everyone here not getting their Dunkin Donuts, is a stroke of sheer brilliance, then your bulb is a little dim, spanky,” and yes I said it exactly like that, as we are also going through the “I am smarter than you are phase, and the demeaning nicknames phase. Within 10 minutes I was off to Dunkin Donuts, and calling the beautiful Miss Polly Pureheart along the way, for strength, well actually to have a good laugh at this guys expense. In the arena of counting my own blessings, I am after all the only man on this crew who’s significant other works the same hours I do, so the strength I draw from her as we play with phone messages all night is absolutely priceless.

All in all, other than another minor altercation over my checking my e-mail over my phone as I stood at the time clock for the last five minutes {this one ended in Superdaddyman using yet another blast of Passivogressive dust on him, in the form of “Well I can’t just sit at a computer half the night and check it”, and another dirty look}, Superdaddyman leapt from the building, and into The Superdaddyman Mobile {Disguised quite ingeniously as a Kia Sedona}, and drove the way home, again laughing it up with the Fair Miss Pureheart, about it all, on the phone. I actually slept quite well, and I have no fear about what happens tonight. Apathy is a good friend, and a trusted ally in the fight to take down the Pink Mafia. I fear not what will happen, only my own permission to be happy or not. ;8o)