Friday, October 7, 2005

Superdaddyman Takes on The Mother of All The Evils's - Volume 1

Deborah Lynn - named after her grandmother, and her mother ... Code Name "The Mother of All The Evils‘s" aka “The Bitch“ ... phylum "Maternalus Nulus" - greatest contributions to the world thus far - Has given birth to 3 beautiful babies, and has helped to form them ever so much into The Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s {TOKE} … Future great moments should include - The day she finally is placed in the Guinness World Book of Records for having slept with more men than anyone in the history of the world {should be soon} … “They said it couldn’t be done, but I’ll be damned that woman has officially done em all boys and girls!”

It was a glorious day in the life of this Super Hero, as I had brilliantly executed plans for a hostage swap, with the Northern Command of OGJ {Operation Get Jeremy}, and I was transporting the three enemy combatants {Lazius Boycrazius, Captain ADHD, and Imtoocutus} to an undisclosed location in the metropolis of North Berwick Maine. A quaint town which was founded on such respectable norms as, incest, pig farming, and of course super secret plans to take down Superdaddyman once and for all. Today’s plans were the usual, and as always they are a real chore to deal with. The ride there in the “Prisoner Transport” made by Kia, was one of the worst in the history of boring ass drives into The Peoples Republic of Maine. Superdaddyman is singing along to Radio Disney {That woman from American Idol there, the “Hazel Eyes” song yanno?}, as he knows that his freedom for the next 3 days is secure. He will be able to … well … BE FREE of the shackles of Singledaddydom, and that is all that matters. The problems on the drive are numerous, so I will try to list them out for you …

  1. It is “Leaf Peeper Season” in the most abundant Leaf Peeping Area of the Country
  2. With that comes tourists, as it is a 3 day weekend for “Angry White European Day” {When in a communist country like Maine it is Illegal to call him by his God Given Italian name you see}
  3. All of the tourists are usually retiree’s from Florida, thus about 114 years old, and terrified of driving
  4. The ones who are not from Florida are Redneck Locals, who have been drunk since about noon, and unfortunately they are NOT terrified of driving.
  5. Superdaddyman is losing his marbles by kids trying to scream OVER the Radio, because as I am growing more terrified by the moment, they don’t want to see what they know is going to be there.
  6. What is going to be there that is making Superdaddyman and the Evils’s nervous is “The Mother of All The Evils’s

As promised she is here, and I am terrified, why you might ask, well consult yesterdays blog, as I note that she is wearing something very similar to that. You see when she pulls out the really tight short skirt, and the very bottoms of the lace on her stockings is barely showing, she’s up to something. If anything Superdaddyman’s kryptonite is the erotic nature of how a woman dresses. Please keep in mind that this one knows ALL THE TRICKS, despite the distaste that Superdaddyman has for her, she is … well … kinda hot. {Go to Lynn’s blog … look at her pictures … picture her dressed in the garb described, with a double D cup, and a ton of cleavage showing … at least a decade younger … ok … now … get that mental image, and may any of you guys (even the gay ones I bet) try to lie to me about being a rock, or an island} The last I knew, she was married again, to a guy in prison, and I fear that she is starting to miss him. Oh goodie, she is now running across mud in those really sexy 4 inch high heels to … oh my f*cking word … she fell! … Superdaddyman forgot her kryptonite is clutzyness … ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Once again Superdaddyman thanks God {God Rocks} for assisting him in yet another round of Superdaddyman versus Mommystopholese! Now she is faced with having to try any of her tricks covered in mud, and with her intended victim laughing at her. She gives up rather easily actually, and with that the “Defender of the Evils’s” is off to meet up with his friends at his meeting. My darting toward freedom is totally mired in a very long arduous drive that is hampered by blatant stupidity. Every person making a left turn refuses to get in the suicide lane. Every knucklehead who is lost sits through a green light or two, as the usual half hour drive has now been over an hour, and I am still about 2 miles from the Superdaddyman cave, where I belong. Yet more idiots wrapped in a douche bag at every corner, are desperately trying to interfere with the plan. The Massachusetts drivers have entered the fray, and no right lane is safe, as they ONLY use those for left turns. The far left lane is where they sit with their right directional on. It is suicide, and Superdaddyman is feeling like he could start crying. His sweet freedom is being totally held hostage by the people of this world who shouldn’t be driving IF IT IS SO F*CKING SCARY DAMNIT!!! He meets up with Polly Pureheart, and the Southern Belle from Southern Maine, at his home group where the fellowship of AA once again, takes out his ruptured sanity, mends it a little, puts it back into him, and kisses the booboo, that was left behind. I think I might actually make it through this weekend after all, because when all is said and done … I WON’T HAVE KIDS DURING IT … WOOOOOHOOOOOO! ;8o)

No Question today … Yahell is being a pile o’ sh*t and it doesn’t seem like anything will be fixed until Tuesday anyway, the messenger is even slowing down your PC if you haven’t noticed as the system load is too much to transmit … Please feel free to leave comments, because they always make me smile. If Yahell accidentally posts them twice {which is happening A LOT} I will be a gentleman and erase the extras … You know I love you guys :D