Sunday, October 2, 2005

Superdaddyman Takes On The Dump - Volume 1

Ok if you all haven’t noticed, I have been posting two a day blogs to get rid of the huge stockpile of extra blogs I have on this hard drive. I write so many and then I simply don’t have enough days in the week to post them. This one is now a week old and is probably about to get dated. The good news to all of you sick of reading my crap so often is, I am almost empty again, and will be back to one a day really soon .. You all know I love ya

Ode to the perfect day … I am just a bit happier as I write this entry, I just came back from the dump, which is the last place I want to be every Saturday, but with 5 people under one roof, I am not at liberty to skip a week. The nasty smell of trash usually just goes away from the inside of my Minivan, by the time I am back to taking the trash to the dump, and actually I think it is when I am driving down the street admiring the non-rotten smell in the van, I am reminded to re-odorize the van again. The vicious cycle of trash, just revolving around me, and not getting any better. I have tried Fabreeze, Lysol, Carpet shampoos, you name it, God has seen fit that it is a 6 day half life on all van odors, and I don’t even get to rest on the 7th day. I should just stop feeding the kids.

The town dump, should be renamed the town carnival, since it is a place that just about everyone is hanging out on a Saturday morning. Almost 99% of Rye is VERY rich people, so they really only go to the dump for show. Then there is us of the 1% that go there for necessity. My stinky little Kia Minivan is usually surrounded by Mercedes, Lincoln, Cadillac, and Lexus Sport Utility Vehicles, which always makes me look around wondering, if you don’t actually want a Ford Explorer, a Chevy Trailblazer, or a Dodge Durango, why pay the extra 20 to 30 thousand dollars more for one with a “Status Logo” on it, but what do I know, I drive this smelly minivan around.

The “Swap Shop” is always full of stuff, that I never wanted in the first place, but I have to stand in front of each thing in there for several minutes each debating, why I actually need it, and how I will justify taking up space for it in the home after I find that wonderful reason to take it. Yes it is a two step process, but like a good virus scanner it really is a protection measure that was put in place to protect me from me. After leaving the Swap Shop, that I probably shouldn’t have gone into anyway {arms loaded with everything I can carry}, I replace all of the space I made, getting rid of the trash with junk. Over to the recycling area to take care of the 17 milk jugs, 84 tin cans, and 103 Dunkin Donuts cups {I should get Imtoocutus to cut back on the coffee}, and catch up on all the really good gossip. The angry housewives, and ridiculously gay ex actors {oh and those of us who have to listen to Earth day lectures, by our children all the time … don‘t blow your “likes the gossip” cover after all Jeremy … I think we have them fooled} are the only people who recycle.

I usually start getting into that whole, I wish I could just afford to have them pick up my trash, like all of my neighbors do, but way back, when I was married to EX3, we had a truck, which she of course took with her as it was her problem ... damn ford. Taking trash to the dump then was much easier, and it didn’t stink up the “Yiddle Bus” causing fake fainting spells, and other forms of cheap theatrics that little children can come up with. Captain ADHD even got in a good shot across daddies bow, by explaining how a fart would make the van smell better. Well it was actually part of an open monologue to his “verbal blog” that managed to last the rest of the way home, no matter how loud I turned up the stupid Radio Disney. ;8o)