Saturday, October 22, 2005

Livin' With Evils's - Volume 12

Oh another glorious Saturday at the Casa Di Evils’s as I am trying to get all of the mundane tasks finished that kinda get pushed off during the week. All in all, I really like my new hours, despite the morons I am surrounded by at work, but there are some home issues that tend to need to be rectified on the day some of you might call “off”. The hardest part of it all is having to get up at 8am because Greektradgedius Inyiddish, has to go to her Weight Watchers meeting. This is a 4 hour adjustment in the sleeping schedule for someone who has been paying Weight Watchers now for 30 years {I’m not kidding here} to not change a bit, well unless you count getting older, but Weight Watchers doesn’t promise to fix that after all. Every Saturday she comes be-bopping back with a little sticker like a Kindergarten Student telling her how much weight she has lost, and she will be the first to tell you that she has lost over 300lbs, thanks to Weight Watchers, but what she never mentions is all of the weeks in between when she gained at least 400lbs.

Oh well back to the mundane life of Superdaddyman. I thank God that Polly Pureheart could sleep through Thermo-Nuclear Annihilation and still wake up tired. Poor thing just pointed out to me that she only got 8 hours, add it to my 4, and it almost equals a whole night’s Lazius Boycrazius. While we are on that subject, I kinda had one of those overprotective “Virginity Defender” moments at the dump earlier, as she was becoming the object of many of the dirty old perverts attention there today. I had to add my own form of “Salt Peter” to the whole affair by walking over and very loudly pointing out that I am so proud of my LITTLE GIRL as she JUST TURNED 13, here at the dump helping her VERY MANIC and HOMICIDAL father deal with all of the recyclables. Yeah I admit that I embellished a bit as I added how we were taking care of her convict, lunatic, uncle’s trash as well. Teach them to ogle a 13 year old … Might I also add “Ewww Ewww Ewww” to the mix, while I am at it.

After a stop at Dunkin Donuts to get my “Thank God It’s Over” Ice Coffee, and her “Thank You For Helping Me” Tropicana Coolatta, we were on our way back to the asylum. Polly is still asleep, Greektradgedius has her running shoes on to get away from Imtoocutus of Borg, as she hasn’t shut up all morning. It sounds a lot like “Bababa Ba Ba, Ba Yaddita Yaddita” after a while and the nervous system is starting to shut down. DO NOT EVER … think that a 5 year old doesn’t know what they are doing. The control of another persons sanity is a very well known psychological trait of a 5 year old. The inability to ignore it {especially if it is the advice of a young whipper-snapper}, is the well known psychological trait, of an old lady. It usually ends up looking like two 5 year olds screaming at each other over a toy. I don’t blame her really for wanting to escape, that is my life’s goal too. Honesty allows me to state that she always has to go eat a lot of fried food after her day of fasting to go stand on the scale at Weight Watchers anyway.This probably just added a fried and sugar drenched desert for afterwards as well. Run granny run, have a nice lunch out.

Captain ADHD, as pictured above, has now started his dreadful fetal position of woe, because he is supposed to be cleaning his room. He has used every excuse from, “You hate me because I am the only boy,” to “I am a play person, not a work person, you just don’t understand” {Superdaddyman gives style points for that one}, to no avail, as I am truly a big meanie. He got that right at least. I once again am forced to point out to him, that I have more trash bags, and he is running out of stuff, for me to throw away. This of course started that whole “Make like a crocodile, and cry” response I was already expecting, so I walked him over to the girls room to show him how, his sister just did it {note that was a weird one actually, she must be up to something, “just do it“ is for Nike not Big Evil}, when I asked her too. It was all about, “Well she’s bigger”, and “You probably helped her”, from that point on, until a dejected Captain ADHD finally just started cleaning. Needless to say, nothing helps a threat better than the actually carrying it out. He found out the hard way, last week, that Superdaddyman WILL clean out his room with a trash bag. It’s sad because this was the one that used to just clean his room, and get it over with, in the past. I give credit where credit is due though, when he finally does it, he does the best job. The ADHD really brings out that drive to be a perfectionist, it’s just the motivation to get started that can be a little rocky at best. Saturdays, for the love of God, sometimes make me miss work … well ok rarely, but it sounded good.

Polly had escaped by now, and Imtoocutus just got laid down for her nap. Here I sit writing the blog about it all. I of course could end it here, but the fact of the matter is, I want to make sure that Dave NEVER reads one of my blogs {of course he never reads any of the short poems or anything either but I am an enabler, so why should I NOT give him a chance to get his pokes in … he‘ll probably be one of my next 360 clean up victims anyway … muahahahahaha}, so that would make it way to simple. I am, after all, anything but simple. ;8o)