Friday, September 9, 2005

The Truth About Cats and Dogs - Volume 5

So it hasn’t happened in a while, but I had a total doofus call me a “Fag” a few days ago. I mean aside from the total morons that hang out in a chat room because they get beaten up whenever they go out into public, thus forcing them to go into chat rooms and insult people, it has been a while now. Under the auspices that I do have an ego problem I must chalk this one up to either being too attractive for that guy to handle, or the biggest thing in his proximity, thus forcing him to try to pick a fight. I am getting way too old for the worst “peeing on trees” habit of my gender yanno? I could care less who’s tougher than who, or who is the one getting attention anymore. This of course only happened because I didn’t have my kids with me, because as we all know nothing removes the “Fag Tag” quicker than kids hopping around you yelling “Daddy … Daddy … Daddy”, and of course the paternal instinct issue that I will probably do a Terminator mental image thing of any A-Hole that starts that type of stuff around my kids, thus taking that sick extra step of finding that person later. Yea I guess that is “peeing on trees” too, but I am of course a victim of gender as well.

Women really do have the upper hand in all of this, since they never accuse anyone prettier of them of being “Gay” or anything of that nature. Women simply classify prettier women as “Bitches” and usually find other women to talk incessantly about them behind their back. On the surface this might seem rather disingenuous, but in the here and now it is far less confrontational. The women who talk about sex constantly, or their conversations seem to be totally dominated by it, are relegated to the status of “Whore” and are bandied about through many bathroom conversations as well {in the cyber world it is known as PM discussions}, while the men tend to give them more attention than they deserve, until they get whatever they want from them, and cast them away. It is a symbiotic relationship from there, since the needy women get what they want {attention}, and the men get what they want {laid, or at the very least hung all over in public for ego gratification}, while in reverse the situation changes greatly. Male “Whores” are often accepted as, just being a man, or in many cases “a challenge” to those who seemingly never learn. In either way, men have the upper hand in the fact that they usually have less problems applying the “whore” tag in face to face conversation, while women still usually use the more passive approach of secret character assassination. Please do not get the tag of “Bitch” and “Whore” confused though, as they are totally different.

For many of us Cats & Dogs alike the most amusing things never really go away, they just accentuate differently as we get older. In many of our ways we are so totally entrenched in our own personal stigma’s and eccentricities that we often forget to even act like “Adults” at all. As a man I find it incredibly amusing, how I still completely act like I am 15 years old, when I encounter a “dating” situation. The rules haven’t changed very much in the last 20 years, except for the fact that I can have sex now without really worrying about being caught. I added the really because there is still the “kid walking in factor” and having to explain why Daddy and Auntie Whatshername like to wrestle naked, but aside from that, my parents really have no say so in whom I chose to wrestle naked with, so that is a plus. Aside from that it still is giggling, and con man games of “I don’t want them to know I like them” as bad as it ever was, and on the other end the “I wonder if I can get them to kiss me” or “Oh God is he going to kiss me” stuff that seems to never go away on the other side. Don’t even get me started on the differences between how easily or not easily we use the L-Word, since I think I have covered that enough in volumes past.

Women still have way more fascinating 14 year old habits well into their elder years. I spend so much time with a giggling 14 year old girl {disguised as anything from a Late 20’s to Early 60’s woman}, on the other end of a PM, either asking me to spy on their cyber love, or pretending to be offline so they don’t look too available, or in a lot of scenarios, crying because the way their good bye was typed looked so “put-offish”. Ok I have been guilty of that one myself, on both ends. Most women friends of mine still run their cyber boyfriends nicks by me for approval, which might actually be a sign of growth because I will tell them EXACTLY what I think of them, from the point of view of a room lurker, and “The Captain of The Chatball team” as my girlfriend put it. Most men online don’t care what others think, and the serious room trash, that is out there cyber whoring, don’t want anyone to know about their habits anyway. Unfortunately for them most of us do, so they are usually out of luck. When it is brought to my attention that I have been called a “Predator” online, I always tell the woman that the person who said it is either a “Really Good Friend” {because let’s face it, I have done some questionable things} or they are simply a “Predator” themselves trying to eliminate the competition in their own minds. Sometimes they are both, most often they are the latter, and I think twice they were the former.

No matter what the case scenario is let me give you all a little piece of advice, not only from a room lurker, but an honest person who has broken the car so often he has had to fix it until he was a genius. The worst thing in life, that any of us go through is the denial of affection. I have been in overly affectionate relationships, and I have been in ridiculously hidden relationships. If the secrecy doesn’t kill you, it will never make you stronger. Most things that are kept secret, are done so out of shame, for whatever reason we try to convince ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t scream all of my personal business from the rafters mind you, but I only omit, until the obvious is out there. From that point on it is outright lying, and in the end it is detrimental to all who are involved, especially when you have to spend too much time catching people up on what had been going on, to get to the “what happened to make you so miserable now” … it all becomes time wasted in the end. ;8o)