Thursday, September 22, 2005

Superdaddyman Takes on the Evil Greektradgedius - Volume 1

Florence Ellen - named after her mother, and her grandmother ... Code Name "Really Big Evil" aka “The Enabler“ ... phylum "Greektradgedius Inyiddish" - greatest contributions to the world thus far - Has been able to almost single handedly keep Superdaddyman in Megalopolis Nooooo Hampshah, despite his greatest wish to be ELSEWHERE … Future great moments should include - The patent on the only known 11th degree black belt in the martial art of “GUILT“ … “And on a solemn note … Superdaddyman has fallen pray to the Superdeeduper Guilt ray of death! …. Captain ADHD is running Megalopolis now!”

Ok … after a whopping 9 days of waiting on this woman, hand and foot, I have decided to get even with her … Immortality {fiendish laughter … followed by the most sinister thunder … ECHOES !!! Rumbling …. Muahahahahahahahahahahaha}, and perhaps a new found strategy should follow. It has been the intent of “The Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s” {TOKE}, to interfere with anything that makes Superdaddyman happy! This is all a part of the big picture for any of the minor, and major outlying factions of “Operation Get Daddy” {OGD}, and it’s sister cell’s known as “Mophaka Al-Queholic” {MAQ}, and “Operation Get Jeremy” {OGJ}. To date it hasn’t had such incredible terrorist lingering, as it has of late. You see MAQ, has gone to great expense to send it’s greatest agent in “Really Big Evil” {RBG}, to give aid and comfort to the enemy TOKE, as it appears that there is a new plan going madhouse in the streets of Megalopolis. They even called out the big guns, as they brought in the secret weapon of OGJ as well …. Superdaddyman’s alter ego “Jeremy’s” …. GIRLFRIEND!

Although their organizational skills are about as diabolical, as any “pure evil” organization since the whicked bad people in the X-Men, Superdaddyman is always vigilant with his super power of “Passivogressiveness” and the foresight skills of “HyperParanoia!”, and with these skills he can see strait through anything that these evil organizations throw at him. Let me explain some of the situations that led up to the incident we will be calling “Operation Get Daddy’s Love Life” {OGDLL} shall we, and you will see how wonderfully Superdaddyman handles all of these scenarios!

About 3 weeks ago Superdaddyman’s alter ego “Jeremy” had scheduled a little meeting of sorts with his girlfriend {Polly Pureheart … yeah that works}, in which they would have some good clean fun … probably some Ice Cream, a soda, and perhaps a clean wholesome slumber party. Note how announcers like me can say things like that with a strait face, and a deep voice. The first problem to face Jeremy, and Polly was an all out assault using the “poverty” excuse, which went something like this, “Why don’t you bring Polly over for Pizza, instead of taking her out to dinner, since you are broke with all the birthdays?”, caught off guard, as Superdaddyman is sometimes when faced with such blinding evil, he agreed to the small peace conference, and warned Polly about the great evil that she was about to encounter! Little did Superdaddyman know at the time, that Polly was truly an OGJ operative, because the “Foamy Flying Elvis Head Incident” had yet to occur. Now of course Jeremy, was unsuspecting of what was to occur next, since he had so expertly covered up the “girlfriend” from the family for many weeks now, and had them masterfully convinced that when she stayed over, she slept in the “Guest Room”.

Upon arriving at the Casa Di Evils’s it had become apparent almost instantly, that something was brewing, as she had worn a nice dress, and was prepared to kiss the ring of the “Grandmother of all the Evils’s” while she was perched on her throne in the corner. She then had the absolute audacity to sit by her, and start … omg … ok … TALKING TO HER! The evil plan should have been recognized instantly but Superdaddyman was totally weakened by one of OGJ secret weapons! I think it’s called HORNY … and he was powerless to do anything as they talked in secret codes right in front of him … OH THE HUMANITY!!! The evil process looked a lot like one of Greektradgedius Inyiddish’s old plays from the days of old when she actually had daughters of her own, and Superdaddyman actually thought it was a weaponry miscue on the part of “Really Big Evil” that she would use the oldest trick in the book to ruin the potential sleep-over … “Operation Like The Date” {OLTD} will never work on such a Superhero as Superdaddyman! {Besides the fact that he is a boy, and that trick only makes GIRLS hate the BOYS that they bring home … it rarely works in reverse!} The only problems that were recorded during the rest of the peace conference were the illegible code talk about … cute baby … adorable boy … great father … and the other things that Superdaddyman could not decipher, and of course the fact that it seemed to take many different “I think we can GO now‘s“ to pry the two terrorist cell leaders apart. The next day, when Greektradgedius Inyiddish proclaimed to Jeremy, “I really like that Polly, I hope you keep her”, Superdaddyman was able to see it as a trap! The next remark of “But please stop treating me like I am stupid. If you two are going to pretend that you aren’t sleeping together, can you at least mess up the guest bed a little?”, which immediately made Superdaddyman set the mental note “Hide the ‘Passivogressive Bombs’ better, she is infiltrating your weapons stash!”

Then, of course, there was the “Foamy Flying Elvis Head” incident which made me conclude that she was definitely an OGJ operative. Since then I have been waiting for an evil plot like this to unfold. It was going to happen at yet another time of weakness like this! First MAQ and TOKE conspire to spread biological agents all throughout the house, thus forcing Superdaddyman to have to wait on them hand and foot, until he was too exhausted to even think strait. Next they would wait until he made plans to {GTFOOD} … Saturday night our usual date … out by her house … until … “I rescheduled my birthday party for Saturday Night.” came out of the evil evil woman’s mouth. Superdaddyman knew that this meant he was doomed … chauffeuring evils’s and their terrorist allies to hell and back instead of seeing his sweetie! In a fit of rage like a 2 year old with a dirty diaper, and a spoon in his highchair {another unique Superdaddyman power … just for the record} … Superdaddyman exclaimed as even tempered as possible “I was hoping to go to Polly’s on Saturday night like I always do, I even arranged a sitter.”

The look on her face was just horrifying, and Superdaddyman was about to cower in fear, for the first time in his heroic existence, as the “Grandmother of all the Evils’s” looked at him across the room and replied “Oh I’m sorry, I forgot, well you go on your date, and I will reschedule it for Sunday, I like her, she’s good for you.” … Superdaddyman was just shocked, and dismayed, the fear of it all, this evil plot that shows ONCE AND FOR ALL that it IS an evil CONSPIRACY, was only made 10 times scarier when she then added “I’ll make sure it get’s over before the Patriots game at 4.” … how ever will Superdaddyman get out of this great peril. ;8o)