Monday, September 19, 2005

Look He Has A Picture In His Blog - Volume 1

I went and got a haircut ... first time I actually paid for one in a long time, but I figured I owed it to myself ... It is usually a healing process maneuver to me, that I change something, anything just for the sake of change, and today it was the hair ... I am growing in that, I didn't have to shave my head like I usually do, but I decided to cut as much of the blonde out as possible ... Summer is over after all ... As for the picture, I actually love the pictures in other peoples blogs, it just isn't my style ... takes up too much of my ranting room ... lol ... I love you all Image {and for one time only (hopefully) I shall use smiley's too}, and don't ever think that I don't appreciate everyone who comes in and reads my blogs, or any of the people who share their blogs with me ... My life is changing though, as I just wiped out a good portion of my messenger "friends" , and am now working on the 360 friends that were probably useless as well ... the insanity of my past 9 months in the online world has finally broken that last straw of my sanity, as I try to hold on to the past, while I move forward to the new ...

After reading, yet another take on the whole drama that I was in yesterday, I snapped, and found myself getting a little nasty in my comments ... Those of you who really know me, know that I tend not to be nasty, and afterwards I realized that I can have my friends, and accept the loss of what I thought were my friends ... I am worth so much more than the drama that never ends in a chat box ... As those of you who actually read my blogs know {both old and new} ... I can create drama out of the mundane anyway, so I should stick to MY OWN mundane ... Thanks to all of you who gave me the strength to remember not what I am, but what I am desperately trying to be in the future ... Even if the future is only later today ... Love Ya Mean IT Image

Repost of the comment that made me want to rip out my own eyeballs ... I hate to do this, but I have to, because I think that we all know better ... first of all the FOBW room DOES NOT represent AA or the fellowship of AA very well at all, and at best has been how I have always described it "A place for sober (hopefully) people to hang out and chat, in a friendly (hopefully) environment" ... period.

To relate any of the goings on in the FOBW room to AA or any of the AA traditions is a mockery of the very program itself ... and you all know better ... there are WAY to many bad factors in that room PERIOD, and I have for the most part felt for some time, that the best thing to do for a newcomer, or someone who is sick, is to point them to a meeting, or perhaps a sober club or something where ULTIMATE ANONYMITY ... can not INTERFERE with recovery as well ... forgive me as I am having my f***ing period right now anyway ... Although I was NOT in that stupid room (at most times at the very least 33% full of people ACTING ACTIVE) I was inundated with IM's from people as my whole day was dragged into it ... I released a small message into my groups to tell people to be careful of people you meet on the internet REGARDLESS OF WHERE ... and then wrote a blog about ME ... For the record, if they can never show their face in that damn room again it is a blessing ... and you all know it ... Love Ya ... but this is part of the f***ing drama too. My Merry Go Round Broke Down weeks ago. ... And as I said before this is NOT me ... so beam me up Scotty ... 8of9 signing off Image