Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The Truth About Cats and Dogs - Volume 4

So I have been trying to get my 360 page in shape these days. Like any man I am like a little boy with a new toy, and the overall appearance of my 360 page is incredibly important to me. Recently I started asking only men to join my 360 page, because I have generally been concerned about looking like a pervert, due to that fact that realistically only women ask me to link 360’s with them. The reception to this has been pretty good, or at the very least, no men so far have run off screaming because they think I am gay. This tends to be a problem with men in general as it appears to be a homosexual trait to many that any man be touchy feely, or emotional in any way. Even when it comes to AA or the fellowship in general this can be a very regional subject. Around here, when you go to an AA meeting you most likely will be met at the door by men who will expect hugs, and that was something I got over a long time ago. Ask anyone who I have conned into going to my home group, and they will tell you “When a 6 foot something or other 300+ pound man walks up and muckles on to you, you hug back damnit!”

Around the country in general this changes dramatically. I go to a meeting every Saturday night, that is 100 miles away, and has very different recovery at it. You see those Rhode Island commitments … well they don’t hold hands … yuck cooties … when they say the Lords Prayer at the end of the meeting a lot of the time. I am pretty sure that the men don’t hug either, but I would love to see the shock and dismay on their faces if they walked into my home group! I have seen this quite a bit over the years especially when the van comes in from the local rehab, and I just think to myself, “Once you are comfortable in your heterosexuality it doesn’t matter anymore.” This also translates to when one of my gay friends in AA checks me out, or tells me that I have the body of a Gay Gigolo, I realize that it is about as high of a compliment as you can get, especially when a gay man knows that intolerance will get them in trouble, and a woman rarely has to suffer such compliments out loud.

Women differ greatly in these regards from what I have seen. I find incredible amusement at the contest to have more Yahoo 360 friends than anyone else, that The Babe from Just South of Here, The Farmers Daughter From The Big Flower, and now The Native Goddess from Birch Beer Land, seem to be having. I get updates on who’s page you have to go to, to steal the most amount of people from {At present time it is Oh My God You’re A Gurl! But The Native Goddess is going to overtake her pretty soon} and I personally say … have at it ladies. I have asked about 1/3 of my list to join, and have been delighted at everyone who has asked me to join. The quantity means nothing to me because it would simply mean more blogs for me to read everyday {and for those of you on my 360 page I do read every one of your blogs!} and in turn more creative idea’s that I have to co-opt as well. My Fishy Friend made me quite jealous talking about his beautiful landscaping that he is doing, thus forcing me to plot a waterfall or Koi pond for myself {I always wanted one, it was just the extra incentive I needed really}, and Chandlers Hubby, talking about a tree house made me want to start thinking about that as well. Men, and all of their creative juices, inspired by the jealousy of our neighbors {laughing}.

I have had a few IM’s from the women on my messenger list {go figure more women ask to add me thus forcing me to ask men to be added for balance in the “Gee I hope I don’t look like a pervert” department there too}, who keep very strong count of how many comments they have after their blog entries. Well such and such got 5 comments and you got 8 … I only got 2 and I was one of them! Everybody hates me, they like you … oh God. This is another screamer, because I love all of the comments I get, but it was never the reason I wrote my blogs to begin with. Hell no actually I originally wrote my first blog to brag about how well I was, and after getting a few comments telling me I might have been mistaken about how well I was. I then wrote another one to try to hide the first one, using a little passive aggressive humor to try to mask any seriousness, that was taken the wrong way initially. The legend of Superdaddyman was born through my own ability to poke fun at myself. In reality I was terrified to get comments, I thought they would be telling me how egotistical I was, how I wasn’t that funny … etc etc etc … Now of course I don’t know if this is a male trait or just a self loathing trait, but as a boy I claim it for my gender all the same. The most important thing that separates the cats & dogs in blogland is that women do comment much more frequently on blogs than men do. I try to comment as often as necessary to break that stereotype, but not everyday, as it would make me look like a cheerleader {grinning}. In the end I definitely make the effort to comment on first blog entries, because I desperately want everyone to be hooked on them like me .. My name is Jeremy … and I’ll be your dealer today ;8o)