Friday, August 19, 2005

The Truth About Cats and Dogs - Volume 3

Well I have given a few short insights of mine into Cat & Dog behaviors and how our genders effectively run our lives. Here is a short essay on a few of the non-gender specific issues that we are all either completely filled with, or completely lack, and how it effects the opposite sex. It is always important to remember rule number one as it pertains to inter gender relationships, and that being “opposites attract”. A good example would be (as usual) for me to describe myself and how it usually plays out in a typical relationship. I am a listener, with aggressive tendencies, who prides myself on being intellectual, yet lacks any of the common sense necessary to get through an entire day, without ruining at least one thing. The opposites of this are indeed endless, but the usual commonalities that tend to find me are women who whine a lot, with manipulative tendencies, who aren’t all that bright, but have great instincts and can usually get what they want. This in no way means that all of the women I have ended up with have all of these tendencies, but they usually have at least 3, and very rarely only 2.

Allow me to translate this even further by explaining how typically I will behave followed by the reactions by the exact opposite, and then go into what happens in the extremes, and how it all falls apart. I usually end up listening a lot to what a woman is saying, it tends to sound a lot like bitching, and in many cases actually is. I will add things to the conversation often, little things at first, some suggestions, maybe small hints, but in the end it will usually end up with me spelling things out way to dramatically, or in the worst case scenario very bluntly. The woman in turn will probably never listen. Over time, I will start talking more, in hopes that she is listening to what I have to say, and figure out that she really isn’t. I will then stop listening to her, and probably further down the road, stop communicating all together. This sometimes is her fault, and often isn’t. The occasions that I do place blame are the times, when something does come up requiring some sort of love and attention, and it obviously isn’t there, because it never really was a 2 way relationship to begin with. Other times, are when I simply give up too easily on something that might come around, it just required some patience on my behalf.

Unfortunately the greatest problem that comes from opposite genders is the confusion that is displayed in the ability to understand each other. Women swear they understand men, and vice versa. In all reality, we know nothing, and that is what brings up these very bad issues. Men and women inherently enjoy talking to the opposite sex more because it is so easy to lie and manipulate each other because of the confusion. Some know it, others don’t, but it is still an instinctive issue all the same. Blindly refusing to see the inherent natures of the opposite sexes, is another problem unto itself and spawns many different problems as well. It’s like when I was talking about men being sports fans and how it shows their loyalties. Some women are too blinded by their distaste for sports to even know that it might be a good thing, and often think the opposite is. All women I have ever known who tried to look at it the age old way of sports suck, and I am happy my man agrees, have ended up heartbroken, or tortured physically and emotionally, or both. Factually speaking most men who hate sports are born cheaters. In all fairness I have found that women who are die hard sports fans tend to display all of the same great qualities that I explained about men in Cats & Dogs 1.

I have compiled a list of definite warning sign catch phrases and the explanations of why they are so dangerous, that I am going to share with you. Of course as a “Know it All” I am going to try to tell you how I think it should be conceived in each gender, and I am sure that I am going to be told I am wrong by hundreds of people. Keep in mind that whether you are a man or a woman, it is something that some say, and if you are the opposite gender, you can become impaired by these things. Here’s three of my favorites (one more typically Male .. The other More Typically Female … The Third is a toss up) …

I guess some people can’t handle “Brutal Honesty” …
This is actually used mostly by men, but can manifest itself in women. In reality what it means is this … I am a f***ing asshole and I would like other people to justify it for me. There are many co-dependant people in this world who love to defend people who claim to be brutally honest. The worst are the ones who feel the need to hammer it home to you constantly. This will usually manifest into passive aggressive behavior that is downright demeaning and meant to poison the individual it is being used on. It is not ok to tell your loved one that he/she is fat all the time, or that you wish they weren’t so ugly. Other issues of course are the way people now know that you accept them for being “Brutally Honest” and they feel it is an invitation to be spoken to in a way you would rather not. In turn you feel you are obligated because you knew what you were getting into to begin with. The best thing to do is avoid it outright, and at the very least call it what it is “Unwanted Honesty”. There is a HUGE difference between “Brutal Honesty” and plain “Honesty” but hardly any difference between “Brutal Honesty” and “Unnecessary or Unwanted Honesty”, women tend to use “Brutal Honesty” to get their points across in a manipulative way, but sometimes are displaying the exact same characteristics of what I see in men. People who are just plain honest, never feel the need to justify it, and they usually have a modicum of “tact” when they say things that are honest.

I need some space or You’re crowding me …. This is pretty much the same with both sexes. It is usually used to get more freedoms that will lead to flirtations. Most men are usually outright gonna cheat on you at this point, while most women want to pursue something else. In either case, it is pretty dangerous because being the one left there, “Just in case” is not good for you psychologically, and more over the average person will now completely live in fear of the relationship from this point on anyway. I’ve completely shut myself off from most recent relationships that have involved this type of phraseology, because 100% of the time in the past it has pretty much been the end anyway. In a best case scenario it means that, should you choose to try it, that you can sensor your feelings to the point that the relationship might survive a while longer. Inevitably, either the significant other leaves because you aren’t what they originally “fell for” not realizing that they actually changed you, or they actually flirt with your replacement. In either case, just get out and find whomever IS meant for you, rather than wasting time destroying who you are.

I think your feeling is wrong, and here’s why my feelings are right! …. Now mind you, this one is sort of a joke, you see, but after a short period of defending your feelings to someone as a state of being right or wrong, this is what it always starts to sound like. I had an ex wife (the second one … phylum - Whorus Maximus … codename - The Mother of All Evils’s ) and an ex girlfriend (the last one … phylum - Whorus Maximus … codename - The Sick One) who very often would counteract any feeling that you tried to express with rage, anger, and accusations. It was impossible to even have a decent conversation with either of them because they would just start poisoning your mind. If you were to say to either of them “I feel like I am being ignored or you are pushing me away” they would immediately lash into some tirade about how, they know you are cheating, or you aren’t very fun, or something else that would firmly place the blame on you. This of course falls in line with the “listener” syndrome that many of us co-dependants have. Each relationship ended with my physical imperfections. The Ex-Wife left me while I was in the hospital with Chicken Pox, and it all came out that she was never faithful, during the whole event. The Ex-Girlfriend of course waited until I hurt my back at work, and couldn’t kiss her ass the way she had grown to expect. Both of them took and took and took, but were off the second I needed them. Please be careful of any of these warning signs. They hurt really bad, and can damage you for life. Fortunately my training from Ex-Wife made Ex-Girlfriend just a joke in the end. For the record I do hear that more men are like this but it is ok to be a sissy man like me and display suffer from it as well.

I will hold on to the rest of the list for other times, since I try not to make my entries too long, but beware, I have saved some really good ones! Now do what you want with these, and remember that I told you so, if you dismiss what I say out of context. I can‘t tell you how happy I am to be seeing someone who has yet to display the opposites I so desperately need to avoid, but then again, they all don’t until it is too late. Must have something to do with the fact that I am trying to read women in English, when I should be using some sort of decoder ring. ;8o)