Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Livin' With Evils's - Volume 7

So now the Terrorist Organization Know as the Evils’s aka. TOKE {for short and also for what they make me want to do everyday} have finally released the bio agent that brought Superdaddyman to his knees. Many days of agonizing fevers, coughing, water eyes, sore throats, and restless sleeping, have complicated just about everything that I hold dear. I haven’t been able to hang out in the chat rooms because the text scrolling about has made me dizzy. Talking on the phone has been out of the question because everyone’s voices have been like jackhammers on my poor pounding head, and I can’t talk very good. My Blogs have been THE ONLY thing keeping me going these last few days. Not just mine but everyone else’s of course.

Three events, are what base this edition of Livin’ With Evils’s, one of which has already been covered a few days ago, to a point, as TOKE tried to infiltrate their own brand of havoc on an unsuspecting amusement park, during one of the busiest weekends of Nooooo Hampshah’s tourist season, but unfortunately there was some after math that preceded that even that must be covered here today. I must of course take you back a week to truly understand the nature of my ulcer. It was the morning that my girlfriend was here, so I have to be reasonably honest about it since there is another witness to the whole thing, but Greektradgedius Inyiddish, came to us rather concerned about Lazius Boycrazius’s Brassiere situation as it was becoming apparent that Superdaddyman’s solution to just give her money, and allowing her to deal with the embarrassing (especially if Superdaddyman is involved) chore of buying bra’s for a 12 year old girl.

The total failure in all of this, as unfortunately happens when you have a teen or nearly teenage daughter without a mother, is that she had to rely on her friends to help her buy bra’s, and lets just say “Not all women are created equal”, as she did what most pre teen girls would do, and bought the cute little training bra’s {yanno the ones with the pretty little bow in the front, even though NOBODY BETTER EVER SEE IT!!!} like her friends do. The fact of the matter is this, as my poor daughter will be having back problems in the future to put it very mildly, and it took my Grandmother (Greektradgedius Inyiddish) and my Aunt (Reality Dysfixiation) to not only point this out to me, but to try and assist in rectifying this situation. They spent the day at the mall to only discover that my 12 year old is a 36D and this new bit of information is going to make Superdaddyman’s other job as Virginity Defender, all that much more difficult, in the future. At least that is how it really translated to a man like me, and it is all about me after all isn’t it?

Let us now go forward a week to “Operation Havoc at Canobie” where I took the evils’s to the amusement park, with a hundred of my co-workers, most of which I had never noticed, and wasn’t exactly looking for either, as I had my hands full enough realistically. Well apparently a lot of them noticed me from a distance, and I had really become the talk of work that Monday as we all returned. It wasn’t until later in the day that one of my co-workers confronted me with the data that they had all collected throughout the day that I was about to have one of those Single Daddy with Daughter Conniption Fits that I wish on EVERYONE!!!

“Hey sorry I didn’t get to say hi, I saw your two kids, which were pretty cute, but your girlfriend was pretty hot dude.” was all he said, as I felt all of the shivering ickies filling my whole body. I knew instantly what he meant. Was I first going to excoriate him for looking at my daughter that way, or chastise him for not remembering that I have three kids to begin with? I very calmly looked at him, and said verbatim “I think that all three of my kids are pretty cute, and I don’t like the word ‘HOT’ used about any of them,” and the word of my reaction spread throughout the factory.

I was pretty sick, 102 degree fever, the most humid day I ever remember, and if that wasn’t enough having everyone at work come up and tell me that I am going to have a hard time keeping control of my “HOT” daughter made it all that much worse. By the end of the day, I had resigned myself to saying “EeeUwwwwww“ or “She’s 12 you perverts,” and trying to leave it at that. I am probably going to have to start wearing my ominous muscle shirts and scowl to work now that I used to have to save for all of my chaperoning duties at the school dances. This is not a very good idea as we are supposed to have long sleeves to work with asphalt, but it’s part of the job being a Single Father with daughters isn’t it?

I am sitting at home today {Tuesday} since I try to write my Blogs a day in advance, just in case I get really busy with my duties of keeping TOKE in line, and talking with my friends online. I called in sick today, so that perhaps this awful fever can break, but as I sit here typing this I have a little grin on my face, knowing that all that interpersonal communication with all of my coworkers yesterday has probably accomplished one great thing! The Bio Organism that the Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s has probably had time to infest every single one of those A-holes and I will probably go back to an empty factory tomorrow. ;8o)