Saturday, July 30, 2005

Things You Learn From The Ex Wife's Girlfriend - Volume 2

Now, as usually is the case when I run into the "Rainbow Societies answer to Jay and Silent Bob" I am sitting in downtown watching all the hotties in their business skirts walk by. I personally think that it is Gods way of amusing himself that when I am being a pervert, my Ex-Wife and her Girlfriend always come along, mostly to show me what a good relationship looks like. Mind you I am not having a Mojo day today, so most of the women walking by are simply ignoring me, so talking with them isn't exactly cramping my style. I do wonder though, why they always plop down on each side of me. It's like that good angel and bad angel on your shoulder, only with much worse taste in clothing and hairstyles. I did comment that they both have lost a lot of weight, and it was getting very obvious, and it was met with "and you dumped this guy?" which made me chuckle a bit, but I still called her a "bitch".

You see the Ex-Husband - Ex-Wife ... Ex Wifes Girlfriend relationship is kinda like picking up a spare set of estrogen producers, for when you really need to know what's wrong with you. It also helps when you are trying to find the woman who is gonna be victomized in your dreams that night as well. It's sad that I have realized that they both have far better taste in women that I do, also. You also start feeling less dirty looking at women like sex objects for a change when you have the approval of your ex-wife. She of course is just praddling away at her favorite subject like she always does {herself}, and I am left to point, and be pointed for, by her girlfriend.

I decide to start throwing out a few of my random "Mental Notes" because that is what I do, and it is boring to sit with me over coffee, I know, but thankfully my ex's present, likes to hear my psychotic ramblings. I was blathering myself in no time about how, I am starting to feel like a pig, thinking of downtown as a candy store. She would simply chuckle now and again, and point at another hottie as they walked by. Once again, thank God it isn't Mojo day because having two women and I guy pointing at you when you walk by must be alarming to some, but the invisibility cloak is holding. Thank Harry, I'll get it back to you by the next book.

"You realize that I personally think the biggest problem you have had, is that you HAVEN'T looked as women like pieces of meat, and it's good to see you acting like a boy," was the out of the blue comment that she had for me today. I was of course taken aback because I thought I did very well at being a pervert, but I guess I have been lacking the drool or something ... Mental Note - Start dragging your knuckles, you're losing your shwerve. "You've justified every woman you have ever been with by falling in love with her, and desperately trying to make her ... the one and only forever ... and some of us like that for ego's sake, but most of us have ADD too, and then of course realize that we are lesbians," which after a smirk from me was followed by, "Ok maybe the two or three women who aren't are out there waiting for you, but until then look, drool, and imagine" followed by laughing and leg patting. I had to add one of my favorites after that, "I do well as long as I don't touch or taste."

We spent a good half hour just admiring the scenery, since Saturday mornings are always full of scenery, until the Ex realized as she usually does sooner or later that we haven't heard a word she said. Of course she still had to say "Are you two having fun?" which was followed by me saying "Boy are you skinny now," and her present saying, "Ok, now I see why you left him," and the three of us laughing together as usually is the ending of our Two Guys and a Drunk episodes. I hugged them both, and was told that they were gonna try that whole "Juggling Fetus's" thing, as long as I provided the bail, which I was all too happy to promise.

It's very funny that I have a good relationship with the Ex who left me for a woman, and I still can't tolerate the other two. The first one is still ok, since she totally removed herself from ever having to be in the same room as me, but the second one, well let's just say that she provides humor in so many other ways. Perhaps there is a blog entry in her behavior forthcoming, but I hope that SHE doesn't read it daily. It's just too bad that having any form of relations with two women at once is just too confusing for me, cuz then perhaps I would have a REALLY good edition of "Things I Learned from The Ex Wife's Girlfriend" but In all reality I kinda like having my Blog on the non-adult side of Yahell. Ya know what though, I'd probably get a lot more hits if I added some nasty photos anyway, but until then I'll stick with what works. ;8o)