Friday, July 15, 2005

The end of the 16th year

Well I am now quite fascinated by how little I know and I'm probably gonna keep learning for a long time. The year itself was un-eventful but the very end of it was so jammed with what will obviously be a very interesting 17th year upcoming. I am walking into year 17 with some of the most brutal reality ever that hadn't involved my drinking or at this point my alkie mind.

After a marriage breakdown which ended up with my ex wife becoming a lesbian thus followed by many a person trying to help me explain it away (the only one I really liked involved me being great at oral sex, thus ruining her forever) and then try to ignore it completely, I ended up taking my wonderful show on the road for two online relationships.

The first being the "famous" one which ended up with myself and the wonderful woman I was with ending up hurt pretty good. I thank God that she is doing well and (trust me) she is still the most beautiful woman who ever lived. The second being the straw that broke the camels back in it's total lunacy and complete and utter sickness on both ends. It was pretty easy to see without the rose colored glasses at that I desperately tried to apply to the whole thing. When all was said and done it finally gave me some peace and hopefully a new beginning in the knowledge that I am a serious love addict that needs to just watch the show. What is the show? ... you may ask well sometimes this means porn movies ... other times it means other peoples sometimes healthier looking romances {said with a grin}. I am actually just thrilled that I know that the one factor that all of my failed relationships had in common was ME, but I digress as I am still feeling wonderful as my 16th anniversary is upon me, and for the first time in FOR-EVAH I am happy to be alone {great friends and 3 cute kids withstanding}, where it is safe for everyone {also said with a grin}.

My goals for the next year is to stay sober ... be a better friend ... learn to love me for me ... without needing someone else to love me so I can forget about me. Confused yet? Good ... now you know what it is like to be me too ;8o)