Well I was standing on the pitchers mound at Fenway Park (It's my dream, I'll pitch wherever I want to) and was throwing very good actually. Heaters ... sinkers ... curves, you name it. and the catcher was none other than Jeri Ryan (that total hottie 7-of-9 from Star Trek Voyager ... hubba hubba) and I was getting a little chuckle every time she called signs because it looked like she was making a little ding-a-ling, which at the time was very hilarious. The music in my head was KoRn ... Shoots and Ladders (Ringa Round da Rosie pocket full o Posie's .... ashes ashes we all fall doooooooown) but I could still here the crowd yelling "you suck!" and the usuals. Upon looking down at my uniform I noticed I was pitching for the Red Sox, so in Red Sox fan terms ... they had to be talking about me.
The first batter I faced struck out miserably (once again ... it is my dream after all) and the second hit a very sad ground ball back to me, which I immediately distributed to the first baseman for an easy out. By this time I have also noticed that it is the Mariners that I am facing, but A-Rod is still on the team. Smack .... hit him in the back .... always hated that whiney jerk. OMG ... Ken Griffey Jr. is back too ... wonder if I'll get Edgar after him ... that was a great Mariners team, but I get back to the dream before I get too into romanticizing the game. The first baseman ... Anna Kournikova (hey this dream is getting pretty HOT) comes running over to tell me that A-Rod won't stop crying about his back, and she would like the inning to be over, so she can stop listening to him.
Damn Griffey, worked a walk out of me on 4 pitches, now I have to face Manny Ramirez?? Damnit what a traitor ... "You're on my team you jerk" but after he flipped me off, I had to drill him too. Oh great here comes Edgar, this guy really pisses me off because he is so frickin clutch, but I ran out of bases, and the third baseman (Anna Nicole Smith of course) is now starting to heckle me with the rest of the crowd. Now I am surrounded by beautiful woman and resentments, and I can't figure out how to deal with the analogy, but I think the only thing right now that is absolutely obvious is that I am finally starting to have a yen for blondes.
The first pitch was in the dirt ... damnit ... Manny is heckling me, but I got reprimanded for hitting him already. That damn umpire ... he's out to get me ... I've known it for a long time now. Edgar is just staring at me slowly bringing the bat off his shoulder, and pointing it out at me. Next pitch ... strait down the middle ... ball?? ... I told ya ... frickin umpire ... Third pitch ... slow curve ... swing and a miss, and I almost got blown over from the breeze of it to boot. "Call that one a ball you prick!" I shouted out, but the umpire chose not to acknowledge my outbreak. Fourth pitch ... oh crap I hung one ... he missed it ... ha ha ... No comment presented because I really got away with that one ... Fifth pitch ... take some heat ... crack ... holy crap I did it this time.
Even in a dream I could feel my neck craning as I watched that ball fly way over my head and clean into another town. I got down on my knees and looked detested, what am I gonna do now, should I get pissed off at God because I always give him all the credit when I do good? Should I go to home plate and hit on Jeri? Maybe I should trip Edgar as he does his victory lap? Or perhaps I should simply see it all for what it really is. My life is my life and I can spend it screwing up a wet dream if I choose, but perhaps I should go with the flow instead. Stop creating my own problems and be happy for what I have. ;8o)